For the past three years, I have worked on and off in one of my township's local libraries. Yes, libraries are decreasing in popularity what with online publishing becoming a larger and more efficient industry, and school students hardly ever come in looking for nonfiction as research for a project (because let's face it- the internet is instantaneous and you can get all the information you will ever need from the comfort of your own home), and even our DVD collection can't compete with Netflix (though I will say, if you're looking for new releases and don't want to pay $22.99 for a single DVD, the library is the place to go.) In total, Lower Merion township has six different libraries, but the one that I work at (and proudly represent) is by far the smallest and most intimate. It's a single floor building that's located in the middle of a quiet suburban neighborhood, right in between a public park and local swimming pool. Considering that libraries in general aren't nearly as popular as they used to be coupled with the fact that I work in the least popular of my township's libraries, you can imagine that I don't see as many people as I do James Patterson books (seriously, that guy must write in his sleep). But as for the few patrons that do decide to come in and spend some quality time with me and the other librarians, I can definitely say I've met an interesting batch. Most of them pleasant and others... Well, you'll see.

(I'll start with the basics:)

1. The mom that comes in with her toddler(s)

Almost always friendly and almost always a little frazzled. She comes up to the front desk with a small stack of picture books and a reusable canvas bag. While you're checking out her books she's probably scrambling to keep her kids out of trouble. She thanks you profusely when you hand her the bag of books and quickly ushers her kids out the door.

2. The shy middle schooler

Either accompanied by a parent or going at it alone, they approach the desk tentatively and mumble, "Um, excuse me, where's the summer reading for [insert grade here]?" So you try to act as friendly and as least-intimidating as possible as you search for the book they're looking for on the computer, but for some reason they still look terrified. (I'm not judging, I was this kid in middle school. Talking to people is scary, I get it.)

3. The adults that come in just to use the computer

And by "adults" I really mean senior citizens. Don't get me wrong, they really do try to print out documents on their own, but more than once a simple, "Could you help me with just this one thing?" has turned into "I need a private 2-hour one on one session with you on how to work this gosh darn technology." I've actually gotten a few jobs this way by meeting up with them in the library when I'm not working, and they're always very appreciative, but when I have 100+ books to organize before my shift ends in 30 minutes, I can't really go into detail about "how I got that to work."

4. The kids that come in just to use the computer

"Can I have a guest pass?" or, "guest password" because they don't actually have their library card with them. They then proceed to plug in their earbuds and watch video game tutorials on YouTube for the next forty-five minutes.

5. The regulars

These are the people (also usually senior citizens) that live in the neighborhood/ are on the library board of directors. They actually use the library to check out books! They've always got books on reserve and come in at least once a week just to see what new items are in. Sometimes they'll even bring in food for the workers. The regulars are the real MVP's.

(Now onto some more specific cases:)

6. The kids that come in because the library is a PokéStop

If you're unfamiliar with the game "Pokémon Go" then I'll briefly explain; it's a mobile app that shows you a map of where you are in real time and has players walk around so they can collect different animated Pokémon creatures. "PokéStops" are specific locations marked in the game where players can collect items and set lures at to attract the Pokémon. A group of usually 3-4 kids will usually come in with their phones out asking to each other, "Did you see that bulbasaur in the area?" "Yeah, I think we can get him!" (I personally play this game rather shamelessly so it can actually be kinda fun for me when these kids come in.)

7. The guy that watches porn on the computers

I wish I was kidding. He's come in at least three times since I've been working there and each time one of the librarians has to send him a message telling him that he either needs to stop watching those videos or leave. Watch whatever you wanna watch dude, that's your call. Just do it on your own time? Like maybe not in a public library where there are little kids running around?

8. The woman that needs you to find her book immediately/check her books out first

Every once in awhile this woman comes in and asks if you have a certain book in the library system. She doesn't know who the author is so you have to do a Google search because the title is something really generic like, "The Sun" (which could also be "The Son", you never know). If it turns out that your library doesn't currently have it in, she asks, "Why?" to which you don't really know how to reply, so you give her the names of other libraries that do have it in. If she's waiting behind another patron, she'll passive aggressively slide her books and library card towards you whilst you're still helping the other patron. Essentially, this woman has yet to learn that patience is a virtue.

9. The man that can't find anything because your library is "unbelievably disorganized"

I totally understand how it can be difficult to find a specific book or movie if you're not familiar with how the library is set up and I'm more than happy to help you find whatever it is you're looking for- that is my job after all. What I don't understand is why even after I've found the documentaries you're looking for, you still ask me, "Well why isn't there a section just for documentaries?" and "If you were in charge here, would this be acceptable to you?" First off, we don't have nearly enough documentaries in circulation to create an entire section for them, and second, I'm not in charge here and you're the only one who complains that there are any problems with our organization.

10. The two eighth grade boys that are attempting to flirt with you

I admit, I have a chronic case of "baby face" and I just reach average height, so combine that will a Spider-Man t-shirt and I look a lot younger than I actually am (19 going on 14). But one time I was approached by two boys that (and I am not making this up) asked me if I "Came around here often?" I then watched this kid's eyes grow wide in disbelief as I explained to him that I worked there because (at the time) I was a senior in high school and 18 years old, therefore it was legal for me to be employed by the township. To be fair, I don't think they meant any offense, but they did ask me how often I worked, and the one kid asked if I could give him a high-five before they left. I agreed because, well, he tried. A for effort, kiddo.

In summation, please visit your local libraries and don't hesitate to ask for help. Just please remember to be nice to the people that are working there and be respectful of other patrons. We do notice, and we do appreciate when you make our job as pleasant as possible.