The 10 People You Meet In The Communal Bathrooms

The 10 People You Meet In The Communal Bathrooms

There are a lot of amusing people out there, but the most striking seem to come out in the bathroom

Communal bathrooms. Hearing these two words are enough to make any bathroom sharer-survivor thankful those days are behind, and any current community dorm bathroom-member cringe.

After completing one year of this feat, filled with shower shoes and "ews," I really got to know the characters that filled the restroom and began to realize that no matter where you ventured, these personalities seem to follow.

If you're one of those “lucky” students who got your own bathroom, you truly missed out on exploring a new culture (basically like going abroad). You really don’t grow as a person until you have to share a humble commode with at least 10 other girls - these 10 girls.

1. The Babbler.

The babbler seems to always sense that you have been in class for eight hours and are just now hitting the bathrooms. She decides to tell you every detail of her day right down to what she had for breakfast while you stand there doing the potty dance like a fourth grader who ran out of bathroom passes.

Lesson learned: Endurance. Those road trips home go a lot faster after encountering a babbler.

2. The Gang.

The gang are those girls (or boys) who cannot brave the bathroom alone. Peeing becomes an adventure because they do it together. They can be real annoying when you are trying to take a de-stressing shower and something is real funny about the sink.

Lesson learned: Friends are great. The communal bathrooms can be a scary place, but bringing in a friend to laugh about the unidentifiable objects on the floor can make the bathrooms seem less like a horror movie and more like a comedy. Being a part of the gang can be beneficial to survival.

3. The Sitter.

The sitter is the person that is willing to wait 45 minutes in the bathroom to poop because someone is getting ready for bed. Her feet normally sit still for an abnormal time while teeth brushing occurs. Ways to avoid being a sitter: come back another time, wait until the shower is running or find a private bathroom somewhere else on campus. Nobody wants to be bored, sitting there counting bathroom tiles.

Lesson learned: Self awareness is super stellar. Never gossip in a bathroom because a sitter can be lurking. You never know who is being poop shy and also finding out who made out with Kyle at the party last weekend.

4. The Broadway Singer.

We all can admit we have been this person once, but there is always one person who thinks she is Idina Menzel. As much as said lady's rendition of "Let It Go" sounds just like Idina's, singers really teach you how to hold in a laugh and that not everyone can sing on key (like you can).

Lesson learned: Be Kind. Some people may be bad at things (like singing One Direction songs), but keeping that to yourself may help all involved parties.

5. DJ Suds.

Similarly to The Singer, DJ Suds is that girl in the bathroom that thinks everyone's taste in music is EDM, so it is necessary for her to blast it. This can normally be heard from the bathroom three floors up, so everyone gets to hear Skrillex.

Lesson learned: It can be hard to study in your dorm room when you live next to the bathrooms.

6. The Whirlwind.

Some people don't like to shower. Granted it isn't my favorite activity, but some people will shower for 2 minutes and run on out. Some will forget to brush their teeth. Some will never wash their hands. Some people will skip whatever they can to get out of the bathroom (and I don't blame them always).

Lesson learned: Don't judge. People can smell if they want to. Just don't stand next to them.

7. The Barbie.

The barbie is the modern wonder of the community bathroom. I am still baffled by the girls who go in the shower with a full face of make-up and leave with an even better face of make-up.

Lesson learned: invest in good waterproof makeup or embrace the raccoon eyes. Your choice will probably depend on who lives on your floor.

8. The Sasquatch.

Every community bathroom has a secret Sasquatch. These would be people who do not appear to be hairy, but leave their hair everywhere. It is just plain gross to walk into a shower covered in hair.

Lesson learned: people can be gross. Bring soap to disinfect your hands after any encounter with stray hair.

9. The Attendant.

Someone always lives in the bathroom. Not really, but they just seem to always be in there and appear out of no where. The moment you walk in and go, "Oh, bathroom Bessie isn't here," she will pop out of nowhere. Attendants also normally fall under more than one category, mostly DJ Suds and The Broadway Singer.

Lesson learned: the bathroom can be a cool place to hang out, but just think of all the bacteria that is in there. That may be going straight to your brain.

10. The Ghost.

This last one is the most baffling of bathroom dwellers. There is always one person that seems to only appear in the bathroom and does not actually live anywhere on campus but in that bathroom. Normally the ghost doesn't talk either, they just give you the awkward no-teeth smile.

Lesson learned: smile and have conversation. People may be weird, but they are so intriguing.

At the end of it all, the community bathroom gave you (and still can give you) some of your best laughs, saw you at your worst and gave you the skills to be understanding that not everyone acts the way you deem socially acceptable and that is totally ok.

Cover Image Credit: Her Campus

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The 5 People You WON'T Meet In Heaven: Hollywood Edition

Despite their significant influence, they will not be found in Heaven.

Some of you, or none of you, may be familiar with Mitch Albom’s best-seller, The Five People You Meet In Heaven. In the novel, the protagonist meets five people who profoundly influenced his life or vice versa, and he learns about the reasons for their or his own influence.

In 2017, and long before, the following high-profile Hollywood men were accused of sexual misconduct in ranging degrees.

Although these men differ in circumstances and their influence on the United States’ social climate, they all remain individuals who you should not expect to see in Heaven.

1. Bill Cosby

As of June 2017, CNN reported that over 50 women accused Bill Cosby of sexual misconduct. The allegations against Cosby began as early as 2000, but intensified in October 2014 when comedian Hannibal Buress’ routine went viral, where he alluded to Cosby's misdemeanors, and women began to speak out and identify themselves as those who he abused. The allegations included reports that he would “forcibly grab and kiss” women, and many alleged that they were raped by Cosby. The link between the women who came forward was their confirmation that he drugged them, and then for some that there were periods of time that they could not account for before waking up unclothed or disheveled. As the number of accusers reached the twenties, The Washington Post reported in December 2014 that colleges — including his alma mater, University of Massachusetts at Amherst — severed ties with Cosby. More recently, The New York Times reported that Cosby’s case was declared a mistrial on June 17, 2017, and it was published on Aug. 22, 2017 that the retrial would be postponed until March, five months later than originally planned.

2. Harvey Weinstein

As recently as Dec. 13, 2017, USA Today published an updated list of the 84 accusers who came forth with allegations against Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct. Weinstein denied the allegations leveled against him, which ranged from propositions for massages to rape, according to USA Today. The one silver-lining to be found following the explosive details published by The New York Times and The New Yorker in October 2017 is the #MeToo movement, which ignited many individuals to share their stories of sexual harassment or assault in the workplace. Nonetheless, Weinstein’s grossly inappropriate actions not only violated dozens of women, but also preyed upon many young women who were trying to enter the entertainment industry and were barely legal.

3. Kevin Spacey

Kevin Spacey made headlines when Buzzfeed News published an interview on Oct. 30, 2017, where actor Anthony Rapp alleged that Spacey “made a sexual advance towards him when Rapp was 14.” Rapp, who is now 46, claimed the advance occurred during a party at Spacey’s apartment in 1986, and that the older actor laid on top of him. BBC News also reported other men who came forward with allegations of harassment and assault that Spacey directed toward them. Additionally, CNN reported that the “House of Cards” set was a “toxic” environment due to Spacey’s inappropriate behavior aimed toward crew members who worked alongside Spacey on the series. Amidst the accusations and denouncements from other celebrities — and Netflix and the International Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, who refused to work on the final season of “House of Cards” if Spacey was involved and award him a special Emmy award, respectively — Spacey was also condemned for publicly recognizing in an official statement that he “choose[s] now to live as a gay man."

4. Woody Allen

Woody Allen is still a household name despite the allegations from his adopted daughter with Mia Farrow, Dylan Farrow, that he sexually abused her in 1992 when she was 7-years-old. As Farrow recounted decades ago, she was brought by Allen into the attic, and it was there that he allegedly laid his head on her lap with his face toward her body. Her claims were supported by adult witnesses on the day in question. Vanity Fair reported that on the day in question, one babysitter stated, “Allen and Dylan went missing for 15 or 20 minutes”, another claimed that Farrow was “staring vacantly in the direction of a television set” and a French tutor testified that Farrow was not wearing underpants under her sundress. More recently, Farrow decided to sit down with co-host Gayle King of “CBS This Morning” in a Jan. 18 interview that discussed the allegations. Separately, Allen is also married to Soon-Yi Previn, who he began an affair with while still in a relationship with Previn’s adoptive mother, Mia Farrow. Allen denied that he was in any way a father-figure toward Previn or any of Farrow’s adopted children, according to Salon.

5. Louis C.K.

Following the string of accusations toward men in Hollywood, Louis C.K. was accused by five women on Nov. 9, 2017 of sexual misconduct, according to The New York Times. The first pair of women, comedians Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, recalled Louis C.K. inviting them to his hotel room for a nightcap after a show. He then removed his clothes and masturbated in front of them, after asking if he could take out his penis, which they initially thought was a joke. Other women came forward as well, one stating that during a phone conversation she could hear him masturbating, and another claiming that he asked her if he could masturbate in front of her, which she declined. Louis C.K. later released a statement that “These stories are true.”

Cover Image Credit: Entertainment Tonight

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Spiritual Warfare inside of her Poetic Spirit

"I feel like I'm drowning in my waste of impatience." Mrs. Powercouple

Continuing to type Mrs. Powercouple begins this quest using poetry. 

"I feel like I'm drowning in my waste of impatience. I'm taking the snakes fate for this fake reality I'm now faced with causing my destiny hatred. This snare is impairing my love and care, I ask him to leave and he disappears, then comes back clearing away all the paths paved to my heart. He tells me lies like Mr. P wouldn't waste his time loving a woman like I. Instead I should expect to be alone for the rest of my life. Day and night I await, while I sit alone and pace, faced with this intake of lies. My moods throw in a loop, I'm now confused with which feeling to choose from. If I'm too happy I'll lose it and end up bruised but then I get too hurt and gain enthusiasm from it's intake. Sometimes I misplace my loves steps with my mistakes. Mr. Powercouple deserves heaven but part of my spirit is still fighting with the gate keepers. The sneaky testers, testing my patience, gaining treasures from the pleasures of having a woman's attention. Their pain is my hex because I am blessed and cursed with compassion. If anyone happened to get hurt because of me I would lose my mind. I find myself climbing through this obstacle of time, but with each pull my arm gets cut from the incline. It's like the bars are knives, but with each reach I learn to be stronger. I guess that's where the savage in me is created, because although I am a slave to my sin, I also know there is hope for me to be saved. Especially when I'm caved in, suffocating from the ashes of the graved men. I know my blood shed is my shield so I refuse to die in-vain when it's my time to go."

An older man's breath from behind her hums the expression, "Pst" forcing Mrs. P to turn around. "I'm sorry ma'am but your name wasn't on the sign in sheet and there is a line waiting to use the computers." Blinking her eyes back to reality, Mrs. P apologizes and saves her work. Leaving the library, she looks back in gratitude then continues on her way. 

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