I wrote one of my college application essays about my tumultuous relationship with my curly hair. Like any application essay, it was poorly edited and hell bent on convincing a review board that I had some sort of interesting/worthy of Ivy league life story (spoiler-didn't get in). But if it strikes you as odd that I wrote about my hair, when most people write about that time they rescued a kitten or ended world hunger, then your hair is probably stick straight and about as lifeless as a spaghetti noodle. But my hair is more reminiscent of rotini with a wild side.
If that doesn't tell you how meaningful my hair is to me, I once made a friend solely based on the fact that we both had curly hair. Cut to 10 minutes later and we're bonding over silicone free conditioners and where to buy good curl cream. Curly hair is a lifestyle, and here are a few of the basic life lessons.
1. Thou shalt never use heat styling tools.
RESIST TEMPTATION. I've spent several hours and hundreds of dollars trying desperately to morph my unruly curls into Serena van der Woodsen goddess waves. But all I got was frizzy, damaged hair and bad memories of a relaxing treatment. After I stopped trying to fry my curls into submission and started treating them with love, they've been easier to care for and happier than ever. And when my hair is happy, mama's happy.
2. Thou shalt never towel dry thine delicate curls.
A bath towel's rough texture will disrupt the hair follicles and make you more susceptible to the evils of frizz. Try using a cotton towel or an old t-shirt to gently scrunch the excess moisture instead.
3. Thou shalt never touch another person’s hair without permission.
Do I look like a petting zoo? Growing up, everyone wanted to tug on my curls because they would stretch out and then BOING back up like my own personal yo-yo. But you know what? That got old REALLY fast. So just ask first before you want to play with someone's hair. And if they say no, deal with it. Not everyone wants to be your barbie doll.
4. Thou shalt never let your hair be cut wet.
I spent puberty growing out a traumatic haircut where my curls were cut so short I looked like a fluffy sheep. NOT CUTE. Once it grew out to a decent length, I didn't go within a mile of a hairdresser for four years. Which resulted in a mile of split ends. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. You're allowed to ask your hairdresser to cut your hair dry. Shrinkage can be your worst enemy, so don't be shy and ask them to meet your needs. Or hightail it out of the salon and go to someone who understands curls.
5. Fear the day you forget to pack your conditioner, curl cream, mousse and satin pillow case.
Welp, now I can't wash my hair. Hello, dry shampoo and ponytails.
6. Thou shalt love thy curls even when they get a mind of their own.
Why is one side of my head flat? Oh right, I tried to wear a hat. Or ride in a car with the window down. Or tried a sweater. Basically any new movement freaks my hair out and it goes into panic mode.
7. Thou shalt be suspicious of all brushes, combs and supposed detangling devices.
TOOLS OF THE DEVIL. I can't tell you the number of times people have asked to brush out my hair to see it "do that poof thing." Who would win in a fight between my hair and a brush? My hair.
8. Thou shalt be able to predict the weather by your frizz factor.
You know it's going to rain before the weather channel does.
9. Thou shalt ignore the haters who say you look better with straight hair.
Bye boo. You don't need those negative people in your life. My curly hair has always been an integral part of my identity and personality. I just don't feel like myself when my hair is straight. I'm quieter, less bouncy, not as outgoing. Not to mention the first time my boyfriend saw me with straight hair, he didn't recognize me! Straightening my hair takes away the part of me that feels special and pretty.
10. Thou shalt rejoice in all forms of curly hair.
Many people have been told that their curly hair is unprofessional (especially People of Color), undesirable, or downright ugly. So the next time you see someone rocking a gorgeous head of curly hair-compliment them! It's so heart warming to share a nod of mutual appreciation with another curly person and know that we're one big fluffy family.
