You know exactly who you are.

And, you know, I've gone back and forth for a really long time about whether or not I should actually write this. I thought about it when we first broke up, but that seemed too soon, but I didn't want to wait too long, because well, then that just makes things awkward. It's almost laughable that I was this indecisive over it, given that indecision crept its way into almost every decision we tried to make, whether it was what movie we were going to watch or what we were going to drink or what to get for dinner that night. We never were much good at making decisions, were we? Even the ones that were supposed to be permanent didn't end up so permanent. Well, at least, at first, they didn't.

But, enough about that. This isn't the time for me to be getting sentimental about what we had or what could have been, because that's just not our reality anymore. You have your life and I have mine, and while our paths might cross every now and again, for right now, it's not going to be the in the same way that it was, and quite honestly, no matter what the future holds, it'll never be exactly the same again, but I'm okay with that. You were the one who taught me how important change was, especially when it came to the sides of myself that I had never quite realized were as problematic as they were. I know people always say that you should never change for anyone, but I wasn't changing for you. I was changing because of you, but without a doubt, I did it for me.

If it wasn't for you, though, I'm not sure I would have ever noticed. You were the one who was unafraid to call me out on what I needed to be called out on, and no matter how many times you made me cry as a result, I needed to hear it. OK, so maybe some of the comments were unnecessary and uncalled for and hurt far more than I think you could have ever meant them to, but we both said our fair share of stupid things. You taught me a lot of lessons in being bluntly honest, and while I'm sure you came to regret that after awhile of me becoming a little too honest, thank you for that. It's something that's stuck with me, and if anyone ever complains about it, I'll be sure to send them in your direction.

But, for as awful as things were sometimes (and let's face it, there were some pretty damn bad times, even if we both tried to fake it until we made our ways out of them), there were just as many incredible moments that I will be forever thankful for.

You let me be who I was truly and fully, and never once was that a problem. You let me geek out about movies all that I wanted to and never once told me to be quiet when I was probably explaining in a little too vivid detail how certain shots were set up. You put up with the fact that, apart a camera and to some extent a laptop and a cell phone, a good amount of technology was otherwise foreign to me. You didn't get angry (at least outwardly) when I was a little too drunk or wanted to cuddle when you just wanted to sleep. You held me for hours and wouldn't leave my side when I had one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had and sat with me for even longer in the ER just a few nights before that. Through and through, you accepted me for what I was, with all my perfections and all my flaws, and you taught me that I deserved far more than I ever honestly thought I did.

Getting over you is truly one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do, but while I'm not quite there yet, I know that I'll be able to get through this. Being with you made me stronger in so many ways, and you've set the bar for so many of those to come. I know that they're not always going to reach that bar (some already haven't), but it's just going to make it all that more special and incredible for when someone finally does. So, as awkwardly sentimental as this letter might be and unfortunately more public than either of us are probably totally OK with, I just wanted to say thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. I know I wasn't always the easiest person to be with, especially towards the end, but you were there when I needed you the most, and for that, I'll always be thankful.