Thanksgiving: A Day In The Life At The Holzhauer's

Thanksgiving: A Day In The Life At The Holzhauer's

Let me tell you, my family is interesting.
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Well, it's that time of year again. Where my ginormous family who all live a maximum of 15 miles from each other, all come together into my grandmother's not so large house to celebrate the first of the holiday season: Thanksgiving.

I'm going to give you a play by play of a normal Thanksgiving day with the Holzhauer's. Bare with me, sometimes things get a little confusing, so try and keep up. And while you are reading, think about your family and their crazy antics.

So, lets start with my mom. She is always the first one to show up somewhere. You tell her the party is at two in the afternoon, she will be there at 1:45. I have always teased her about this, because, well I don't like losing that fifteen minutes I could have to stay in my bed. Usually, we get to sit and chat with my grandma for a few minutes before the crowd rushes in, and this always entails my grandma's ginormous dog, Max jumping on me, and my grandma screaming at him to stop. Then, it's usually my uncle Bill who shows up next. He takes a seat in his specifically assigned seat he's been sitting in for the last 52 years and watches football. Next Aunt Caryn, Uncle Fran and Jonathan walk in. After them, my Uncle Dan, Aunt Brandi, and cousins Tori, Daniel, and Josh walk in. This is usually about the time my Uncle Dan tries to pull some karate move on my Aunt Caryn as his way to say hello. Oh, I forgot to mention she is a black belt, and Uncle Dan tries to fight her and never wins. Usually next is my aunt Sue and cousin Christina, and this is when all the really really good food comes into the house. Not that everyone else's food isn't good, but my Aunt Sue really knows how to make a meal. At this point, everyone is pretty much settled and catching up with each other, and act like they don't see each other at least three times a week. Max, the dog, is usually standing up at the table at this point, stealing as much food as possible before getting caught by someone who is never my grandma. Just an FYI, she claims she doesn't feed him table food... good one grandma.

Anyway, this is usually the time where my grandma starts getting antsy because her youngest, my Uncle Mark hasn't arrived yet. And every year she is surprised that he doesn't show up at the time arranged, and he probably never will. Once they arrive, my Aunt Sarah and cousins Taylor, Patrick, and Madeline get bombarded by people trying to say hi to them. I always know to wait until Madeline is done being shy, and attacked by the millions of kisses to go say hi to her. Usually, at this point, Mark and Dan get to say their hellos, and they greet each other with "Richard." Let me clarify one thing, there is no one named Richard in our family, and this Richard joke has been around since 2005. I don't know the details behind it, but usually, if they say something dumb, or they are greeting each other, Mark and Dan call the other one "Richard."

Now, if we're lucky, at least one of my Uncle Bill's sons will make an appearance. There is Dave, Pete, and Nick, and I could not tell you the last time the three of them were all in the same room at once, but it's okay because when they do come around they're a riot. Okay, so at this point we are about to go eat but go around and say something we are thankful for, and everyone gets all emotional, and then we stuff our faces with food. Then, everyone starts winding down, and gets fidgety from the amount of food they ate, except for Josh and Jonathan. For some reason, they have all of the energy in the world and continue to run around my grandma's two bedroom house, causing lots of yelling. While they run around, someone usually FaceTimes my Aunt Donna and Uncle Mike who live in Florida, and the phone gets passed around and you pretend like you can actually hear what they're saying, and then pass it on to the next person.

You usually can't get in a lot of words with my family, and if you do, someone will most likely talk over you or interrupt you. Slowly after we eat, half of us start heading out to other family gatherings, and the others wait for six o'clock, so we can do our annual tradition of bowling. We all meet at a bowling alley, bowl a game, sometimes two. The adults get a bucket of beer and have the worker put on the football game. After bowling, we all go to our respective homes and prepare for Christmas, in just one short month.

So there you have it, folks, my family is giant and dysfunctional. This year I decided to sit on the sidelines and see what really goes on during the holidays with the Holzhauer's, and let me tell you, I love my big crazy family. Here's to having a month to mentally prepare for Christmas, wish me luck!

Cover Image Credit: Kara Hickey

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When You Give A Girl A Dad

You give her everything
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They say that any male can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. That dads are just the people that created the child, so to speak, but rather, dads raise their children to be the best they can be. Further, when you give a little girl a dad, you give her much more than a father; you give her the world in one man.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a rock.

Life is tough, and life is constantly changing directions and route. In a world that's never not moving, a girl needs something stable. She needs something that won't let her be alone; someone that's going to be there when life is going great, and someone who is going to be there for her when life is everything but ideal. Dads don't give up on this daughters, they never will.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a role model.

If we never had someone to look up to, we would never have someone to strive to be. When you give a little girl someone to look up to, you give her someone to be. We copy their mannerisms, we copy their habits, and we copy their work ethic. Little girls need someone to show them the world, so that they can create their own.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her the first boy she will ever love.

And I'm not really sure someone will ever be better than him either. He's the first guy to take your heart, and every person you love after him is just a comparison to his endless, unmatchable love. He shows you your worth, and he shows you what your should be treated like: a princess.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her someone to make proud.

After every softball game, soccer tournament, cheerleading competition, etc., you can find every little girl looking up to their dads for their approval. Later in life, they look to their dad with their grades, internships, and little accomplishments. Dads are the reason we try so hard to be the best we can be. Dads raised us to be the very best at whatever we chose to do, and they were there to support you through everything. They are the hardest critics, but they are always your biggest fans.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a credit card.

It's completely true. Dads are the reason we have the things we have, thank the Lord. He's the best to shop with too, since he usually remains outside the store the entire time till he is summoned in to forge the bill. All seriousness, they always give their little girls more than they give themselves, and that's something we love so much about you.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a shoulder to cry on.

When you fell down and cut yourself, your mom looked at you and told you to suck it up. But your dad, on the other hand, got down on the ground with you, and he let you cry. Then later on, when you made a mistake, or broke up with a boy, or just got sad, he was there to dry your tears and tell you everything was going to be okay, especially when you thought the world was crashing down. He will always be there to tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they don't know if everything is going to be okay. That's his job.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a lifelong best friend.

My dad was my first best friend, and he will be my last. He's stood by me when times got tough, he carried me when I just couldn't do it anymore, and he yelled at me when I deserved it; but the one thing he has never done was give up on me. He will always be the first person I tell good news to, and the last person I ever want to disappoint. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend and more.


Dads are something out of a fairytale. They are your prince charming, your knight in shinny amour, and your fairy godfather. Dads are the reasons we are the people we are today; something that a million "thank you"' will never be enough for.

Cover Image Credit: tristen duhon

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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