Thanksgiving is a holiday which has different purposes for different people. For some, it's an excuse to fill their face with food, even though they're on a diet. For others, it's a chance to reflect on what they're thankful for. For most, it's the one day a year where they dread having to hear their relatives' absurd political opinions.
Did the pilgrims enjoy the first Thanksgiving? As children, we were told it was a happy feast where everyone got along. As an adult, it does make me wonder if any of them were bickering with one another. Whatever the case may be, it certainly has evolved into a holiday where many dread what should be a beautiful occasion.
I'm not even sure why politics comes up at all over Thanksgiving dinner. I think it would be wiser if people avoided the subject at such a festive gathering. Why would anyone in their right mind bring up a subject that has the potential to divide people and get tempers flaring? Especially when it's usually the only time they see certain members of the family. Why not catch up on what's going on in each other's lives? Surely, there must be other topics of discussion that would make dinner more enjoyable.
As LGBTQ individuals, differences in political opinion aren't as fun when discussing our own rights. If your relatives aren't in favor of gay or trans rights, it's hard not to take stances like that personally. Some of these family members might not be supportive of our being LGBTQ. However, I've found that it's best to separate your feelings from your political viewpoints, at least when discussing them publicly. This isn't always easy, but you have a much better shot at getting through to someone if you present your case calmly and logically.
Emotion has a tendency to creep into almost every political discussion. This is probably why so many people don't look forward to situations where the subject might come up, including Thanksgiving dinner. We need to work hard at understanding that when a person disagrees with our political stance, it's not always an attack on us. Even if it is, we're not going to make a clear argument if we're overcome with emotion. I think this would be important to remember when having these discussions. You might be surprised at how much smoother the conversation goes.
It shouldn't be your goal to win every argument, either. Sometimes you have to know when to pick your battles. If you're talking to someone who isn't hearing you out or listening to your side, what's the point in arguing with them? Will you accomplish anything? If you start to feel like you're talking to a brick wall, it's probably best to let them have the last word. In this case, you haven't really lost an argument. You've just accepted that this person isn't on your level. Don't waste your time.
The bottom line is, disagreements are inevitable when it comes to relationships. We shouldn't be so quick to cut someone out of our lives because we don't see eye to eye. Not everyone spends Thanksgiving with the family they were born into. Some people spend Thanksgiving with their chosen family. Even in those relationships, there will be some difference of opinion. We can't escape it and it would be foolish to try to.
We must accept differences in people just like we want others to do for us. A lot of LGBTQ people don't have a family to spend Thanksgiving with. We should be thankful that we have one to go home to, however imperfect that family may be. That is what this holiday is about after all.
