Relationships are a great thing but staying in a toxic relationship isn’t healthy for you or your partner. For me, my toxic relationship consisted of days full of tears, lots of days in bed wondering what I did wrong and lots of denial. I never would have thought that someone who was once so great could have hurt me so bad. It was scary how much this person could emotionally destroy me and not care. After months of hearing that I deserved better I finally came to my senses and left and I will never look back on that decision. I am so thankful for all the lessons that being in a toxic relationship taught me now that it is over. Here are some things you will learn post-toxic relationship:

1. It teaches you to love yourself.

Sure, when you are stuck in the toxic relationship loving yourself may seem nearly impossible. From the harsh words to the lack of respect your partner gives you, you start to feel like you are never good enough for your partner. Toxic people thrive off of putting you down. As hard as it can be letting them go is the best way to learn to love yourself again. It isn’t easy to start loving yourself right away, by any means. But, once you do you realize you can now fill the time you spent trying to be good enough into loving yourself. Loving yourself will be key in finding a good relationship eventually.

2. You learn to not settle.

Being in a relationship is great but settling for less than you deserve is not worth it. Whoever TRULY loves you won’t hurt you. Instead of constantly draining you of energy they will make you want to wake up in the morning.

3. When you do find someone you take it slow.

We all love when we find someone who knows just what to say but now hearing pretty words just doesn’t cut it like it used too. I’m sure your partner was great when you first got together so you rushed into it because you wanted a relationship but after a while your partners true colors came out. You have now learned to take it slow so that you both can see each other’s true colors before getting into something more serious because they may not be what you need in your life. Taking it slow will also allow you to see how they treat you after time passes.

4.You learn you don't need a partner to make you happy.

Everyone wants attention from others but do not rely on a partner to make you happy. You are your own happiness. I can’t stress that enough. Becoming self-reliant is something you learn to do after a toxic relationship. You now realize that just because you are with someone that doesn’t mean you they are going to make you happy. Spend the time you spent searching for their attention on finding things that really truly make you happy.

5.You can now focus your time into more important people.

Now that you are no longer in a relationship that is draining you of all the energy you can focus the on people in your life who are inspire and support you. When you are in a toxic relationship you forget to appreciate the people who are actually important. After the relationship ends it becomes clear again who the people who really matter are because they will make sure even when you are hurting to uplift you rather than tear you down.

6. You enjoy your life again.

Now that your toxic relationship is over you can spend all the time you were wasting on crying in bed, sleeping the day away, and thinking about all the things you did wrong on new things. You can now learn to appreciate all the little moments in life again. You can enjoy going out with friends without having to worry about your partner. You can enjoy everything you do without feeling miserable like before. Go take a trip somewhere you always wanted to go, go out and dance with the cutest boys you can find, or even just stay in and focus on school for a while.

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship don’t be scared to get out of it. Moving on is a beautiful thing. It may be hard at first, but I promise you that it will be worth it once you have moved on. I’ve had two major toxic relationships that I thought they destroyed me, but now that they are over, I am grateful for the lessons that they taught me. I am so thankful for my ex-partners because now I have now had so many opportunities I would have never had if I hadn’t left. I now know that it was not meant to be with them and even though it seemed different when I was with them I now can’t wait to finally meet someone who treats me how I deserve. So thank you, ex-partners who treated me less than I deserved for making me realize that the world still revolves without you and that there is better out there. It really is amazing how great things become after you distance yourself from toxic people.