I know we haven't talked in a while and that's mostly my fault. I never wrote back because I didn't know what to say. But here are the things I should have said.

I should have thanked you for continuing to invite me to Youth Group Events; for the endless invites to be in an environment that was fun and yet still promoted religion. I should have thanked you for your letters that always had some sort of moral at the end even if it was just about how you were. Most importantly, I should have thanked you for not giving up on me.

Religion was hard for me, as it is for a lot of people. Going to church when I was little, to not going to church for a while, then choosing to go to a different church in high school. Notice how I used the word choose, as I wasn't forced to go to the church. My cousin and I decided one day we would go to church with our Grandma. This was April 22nd, 2012. That was also the day I met you. I didn't know how big of an impact on my life you would have. To me it seemed like you already had your friends at church, but you welcomed me in with open arms. Literally, because our church hugs (which is something I really appreciate). This church has always given me a sense of home and belonging. This is the reason I continued to go there all through high school.

During this time we got closer and you still continued to invite me places, including Youth Group events, your house, bike rides, and the best shooting! You really have taught me a lot since we have been friends. I thank God that he sent me to church and that he sent me you. For graduation, you gave me a rock. I still have my rock at school with me and whenever I see it I immediately think of you. It reminds me that even though we're far away, you're still here in a way. It's the kick in the butt that I usually get from you when I'm home. It's you asking how my bible time is going, then following up with how my prayer time is going. Usually the answer is "it's ok," or "I struggled with reading." The bible is a hard book to read and fully understand. Youth Group was a big part of my life for helping me to understand a little here and a little there. It also helped promote individual reading and to ask questions.

College. The word that made me struggle most with not only my faith, but my friendship with you. I became that over involved freshman. I'm still the really involved sophomore. And let's face it, this year I will still be the very involved junior. I struggled with time. Between homework, friends, classes,and activities my faith suffered. I fell away from the one thing that was constant in my life. They say God never leaves you. Well, it's true. During all the stress, grieve, happiness, sadness, and all the other emotions I should have turned to him. If I would have written letters back to you, I don't doubt that you would have told me to turn to him You always gave me the "kick in the butt" I needed to get going. I didn't write back a lot. Mostly because I felt ashamed for letting myself fall so away from my faith. Instead I should have just written and said that I was struggling. I should have talked to you more. Now I feel like I need to change things and get more involved with my faith and get back into my friendship with you.

This year has been a long year. There's been a lot of things going on and I was mad about a lot of things. It's summer and I decided to stay at school for various reasons. I'm sorry I won't be around, but I think this will be good for me to grow. I have a lot of extra time in the evenings to just relax and do as I please. Because of you and your faith I'm going to push myself in mine. I'm going to start setting aside more time for God and putting him first as he should be. Not only that, but making more time to write to you because you deserve it.

You are an amazing person and I can't thank God enough for sending you to me. I'm lucky to have you in my life even if it is just on occasions (but that will change). Thank you for all of the time and energy you have put into our friendship and my journey in my faith. Know that what you have done has created a big impact on my life. I love you so much!