To the Date that left me alone in a movie theater,
Thanks for making the guard around my heart a titanium wall. You showed how to not be such a easy target. From what I can tell you seemed like a genuine guy who really just made an honest mistake along the way. The reason I can tell this is because you freaked out right after telling me you had a girlfriend. The feeling of guilt and shame are apparent when combined but I think feeling ashamed trumps guilt. Guilt could just be a feeling at the moment. When you are ashamed you feel it in your soul. It eats up at you until you can’t take it anymore.
So now I ask you was the car ride back one of guilt, shame or both?
I could have reacted very differently in that dark movie theater. I could have caused a hug seen and embarrassed us both, but I didn't. I thought we were both feeling some sort of embarrassment of our own. Making it apparent to the other movie goers wouldn't make it any less embarrassing. Going to the movies these days cost a pretty penny. But I digress…
The point of the matter is that this experience surprisingly didn’t screw me up that bad emotionally. For most this would have wrecked them. Did I ever think this would happen to me in my lifetime? Absolutely not, but it did! In that moment I had to make the decision between storming away making a full blown scene out of anger, or trying to understand why. I took the high road, thinking clarity was more important to me then anything. I have always believed that God puts me in situations where he knows I can successfully navigate them. I haven’t been steered wrong so far, and if I did I always came up with a solution.
I guess what I am saying is I forgive you. You told me that you thought that payback for this girl cheating on you was the answer to your problems.You made a mistake and as humans we all do. The important thing is that you realized it almost immediately. I said to you that I wanted to rethink about what your values are. What do you value? Is it being a genuinely good person? Because that’s what I value the most. No matter what happens I always want to be a genuine person, and I want to have enough self respect for myself as well as respect for someone else. I also told you to get your life together. You needed time to be on your own and figure everything out. I hope you took my advice. However, even if you didn’t take it I still don’t think this whole experience was a waste of time for me. Before I knew what I wanted, and now that is even more clear & stronger. You made me a better me believe it or not. And I know that this was just another life experience bringing me closer to the person I wanna be.
From the person you left in a movie theater
P.S. Don’t worry the free movie was one of the best I have ever been to, and even better after you left!