I always tell you how funny it is that my first impression of you was from the times I thought you were glaring at me in the studio room.
I didn’t know your name yet so I’d always call you “angst boy” behind your back. We shared the same professor and he told me all about your work and how talented you were, but he warned me to stay away because he too, assumed you were glaring at me. In many ways it became a running joke for what seemed like months, until I finally decided to send you a message on Facebook and see what your problem was. That day, the first day we ever even spoke to each other, we drove all the way to the tip of the thumb, you made me listen to EDM and what I now refer to as Death Metal, the whole way (and back). We were opposites, and after we said goodbye to each other, I told myself I’d probably never hangout with you again.
Now I am in my third year of college, and I cannot go a day without talking to you.
To me you’re still the angst boy I met my freshman year, with the chains hanging off his pants and his tool box of art supplies. But you’re softer now, you’ve evolved into this caring and compassionate person I never saw before. You’re the guy who saves little birds when they fall out of their nest and lets me name them. You’re the guy who calls me first when he’s in the hospital because you know I’d freak out if I found out from anyone else. You’re the guy who gives 10 dollars to bums, and comes to me with a mini panic attack when he realizes that his sisters are growing up. I think you’ve always been this guy, but you don't really let the world see how kind you are. I think you've always been this guy, but you were too afraid of throwing off your punk rock aesthetic, so you buried it down deep in the pockets of your baggy pants. Finally, I think you’ve always been this guy, but just like me, you’ve been broken. Trust is something that you’ve taught me is earned, is worked towards, not just given away.
You told me once that you admired my kindness and my passion. You admired that I was nice to everyone even when they didn’t deserve it, and though I’m a pain in your ass, you were always going to be here for me. For the last three years you’ve loved me in your own silent way, and I’ve never thanked you. For the last three years you’ve been there protecting me from heartbreak and putting me back together with your words of wisdom when it was too late. You’ve become a man I admire, and a someone I’m not sure I could live with out.
So now I want to say thank you and say keep doing you (except maybe you could work on showering more than once a week). Thank you for teaching me the importance of loving myself first, thank you for showing me that just because I'm single doesn't mean I’m alone. Thank you for your versions of “I Love You” and taking every grain of salt I throw your way. Thank you for laughing with me and not being mad when I dyed your whole face blue after washing out your hair coloring. You’re my best friend, you’re the guy I can be silent with or talk for hours, I couldn’t be more pleased that my soul met yours, and I cannot wait to see where life takes us.
