This is a thank you to my ex. I am writing this to thank you for the lessons and trials you put me through. You emotionally showed me how to become a stronger individual. Thank you for breaking my heart, and for all the break downs, overthinking, and the unpleasant thoughts of being unwanted. I felt empty while i was with you. My mind was in a very bad place. I found myself thinking is this how i really want to live? I was trapped in an environment that i felt oddly unsafe in. My gut was getting the feeling of uneasiness. If you've ever had the feeling, you know that it is overwhelming. This feeling consumes you as a whole. It overtakes your mentality and destroys your conscious reactions. I felt as if I was battling between the choices of being myself and someone I was not.
I overcame this by giving you what you wanted. Freedom. I decided to let go. I let go of this toxic relationship that you bound to me. I became a happier person as soon as you left my side. I began to see the beautiful smile, that I once held so gallantly, appear once more. Throughout my trials and tribulations of this toxic relationship, I began to stray away further from God.
Overtime, I had found myself growing faith and becoming stronger in my walk with the Lord. I began small talks with God sometimes in the shower and others while I'm driving. This helped me clear my mind and focus on what was really important and not have thoughts of going back to where i once was. God found a broken soul and guided me through the darkness. He showed me what i asked through small representations of symbolism. You pushed faith away and tried to convince yourself that even when you don't worship, you still have God in your heart while you chose to ignore him. That is where you were wrong, your faith was failing and so was mine because you tried to convince me that was okay. The pernicious attitude you showed towards me put me in a place where I failed to hear God's pleads. The day I walked away from you is the day I walked away from the devil's work. Thank you for the realization that I am a beautiful, strong, determined, and righteous woman. I found myself and i found my worth. You were an EXample of the demons that i would face in my life.
Thank you to my ex, not my ex boyfriend, but my EX-SELF. My ex-self has been my worst enemy throughout my times of trouble. She shaped me into the person i am today and for that I am thankful. God guided me through my mistakes and helped me learn and find myself when i was once lost. This is not a thank you to my ex-boyfriends, this is a thank you to the girl i once called my own self. The girl i use to love but also hated. I have finally let her free and become a new me. Thank you to my ex, my EX-SELF.
