Growing up, and even now as an adult, I've had a lot of people ask me about my father.
"Do you have a dad?" "Have you ever met your father?" "Is your dad still alive?"
If I had a nickel for every time I'd heard some variation of these, I'd be able to pay off all my student loans! When I was younger I found these questions really irritating, but now I know that people are just naturally curious about lives that are different from their own. Because of that, I'm here to tell the world that yes, I have a father, but no, he's not around, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. My parents spitting up when I was a newborn may have been one of the best decisions they ever made for me.
Coming from a single parent household gets a bad rap, but I always really enjoyed it and I never felt like I was suffering or living a half-life. Having just my mom around meant that I never had to deal with any of the back and forth of decision making. If I wanted to do or have something, there was never any "go ask your mom," "go ask your dad." It was always just yes or no, straightforward. There were no late night fights or exasperated arguing in hushed tones while I slept. The only parental fighting I had to see was that which I found on TV sitcoms.
My mom and I were, later, able to make joint decisions on things. I had the ability to learn adult responsibilities early because I was always my mom's sounding board, and those skills have helped me all through my life. A lot of my peers are pretty bad at "adulting" but I've done well with managing my finances and taking care of myself since day one of leaving the nest. The time I had with her was priceless and those moments are something that people in a nuclear household just don't always get to experience. When your parents are together, they are a team. They are the bosses and they lean on each other, and the kids are just the kids. I had the luck of being the kid and the friend, and my mom and I are the team. Like Laverne and Shirley, we schlepped through all of the ups and downs together and grew closer than we could have with anyone else in the picture.
What I can say, though, is that you can't miss what you've never had. Plenty of people have asked me if I ever wished to have had a father in the picture, and I always say no. But really, it's like asking a blind person if they wish they weren't blind. How could they wish for something that they don't know?
If I were given the chance to hit Start A New Game and create all the players over, I wouldn't change a thing. I'll always be grateful for the uninterrupted time I've had with my mom and all the fun we've had, just the two of us! So here's to you, mom, a toast to all the years past and all those to come, no third party needed!
