To the last guy who screwed me over,
You have made it to the graveyard that holds dozens of names of guys who have screwed me over.
I hope you had fun.
Now, of course, I won’t lie that you completely ignoring me and pretending I never existed was something that really bothered me for the longest time. To this day, every now and then the thought of it still creeps up my spine and into my memories and causes me to relapse and feel very hurt.
But this isn’t a letter to express how heartbroken I am. This isn’t even a letter giving you a metaphorical middle finger.
This is a thank you letter.
Thank you for finally helping me get over all the other ones in my past who hurt me. How did you help me in this way you ask? Well, I was so ready to be solely invested in our “relationship” I came to grips with my past, hit the unfollow and unfriend button on a few guys, and marched on with the positive thoughts I had in mind for us as a couple.
Thank you, for making me understand not to give it all away so soon. And no, I don’t mean “like that”. I mean giving away so much of my heart so quickly. I took your words and promises very seriously. You made me feel very special. In return, I did the same for you. It’s only fair and when you really like someone, you want them to know that. I remembered your birthday, bought you a couple gifts (which you never got since you decided to so abruptly end things) and had more surprises planned out in the interim of us being a legitimate thing. I gave away too much trust, heart, and soul too quickly. Won't happen again.
Thank you for helping me understand that promises and words are empty without action. You did A LOT of talking within that six-month frame of “us”. Unfortunately, very little action followed. From you, I learned that when someone really cares for you, they’ll make an effort, and not toy with your emotions. They won’t lie and keep me hanging on a very thin string over ice cold water, just waiting to watch me fall and drown.
Lastly, thank you for helping me finally realize it’s really not me, it’s you. I put so much effort into this. I believed you, and trusted you, and I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I look back on all the times that you let me down and all the times I legitimately tried to make an effort. You filled my mind with pretty words and promises that were so beautiful. Your beautiful blue eyes and smooth voice shaded me with rose colored glasses. What a shocker when you ripped them off and left me stranded in a field of dead flowers.
I can confidently say that I have done no wrong. I put my all into our story that you decided to leave unfinished. I didn’t deserve for you to leave me without explanation. No one deserves to be dropped off your radar like they never mattered.
But, it was out of cowardice.
So thank you, for the lessons.