To my 17 year-old self:

Last year I called my dad telling him I wanted to drop out, and you know what he said? He told me I would be letting myself down. He didn’t mention anyone else. He didn’t discuss money that would be wasted or family members that would be disappointed. He acknowledged how I was feeling, but didn’t tell me to quit. He said, “You worked so hard to get where you are. I think you might owe this to yourself.”

Thank you for giving me a reason to keep going.

This summer when I was away from my family, and thought I couldn’t handle the distance, I found an old journal entry from you. I read about how you wanted me to move away - how you saved money so I could eventually experience more than the town I grew up in. I slid my hand across the pages filled with tears, and I remembered the dreams you had of some day moving away.

Thank you for giving me the courage to keep exploring.

A few months ago, I thought I could never be alone. I thought I needed someone to show me my worth, to make me feel like I was enough. My therapist and I worked on ways to destroy those thoughts of not being good enough. Where did they come from? When did they start? I remembered you. I remembered the times you felt less than or left out. My therapist asked, “What would you say to her?”

Thank you for giving me someone to stand up for.

And by the way, I know things are rough right now, but I promise you this: It’ll be okay.