To the Man I Love,
I want to thank you for being a part of my life. You mean so much to me. You have opened my eyes to everything the world has to offer and I couldn’t be happier. I want to take a moment to show you my appreciation and how much you mean to me throughout something I love to do. I want to share what you taught me about love and myself.
I will admit, the first time I met you was quite nerve racking for me. We met in high school our junior year. We didn’t start talking until our senior year. I had a hard time with boys anyway. I had lost my innocence to a boy who just didn’t care. There were a lot of rumors about me that went around that were not true. I was very nervous because I didn’t want you to hate me or believe what everyone had said about me. All I really wanted was to be loved. You had a reputation too. I was also nervous about that. I didn’t want to be a hit and run. I didn’t want to be ‘just another girl’ to you. I just wanted to be something special to you. Honestly, I didn’t think I would be someone you wanted.
You tried really hard to keep me. I think that was the cutest thing. You would text me nonstop. You would see me in the halls and just bump into me. It threw me off for a while because I didn’t understand what you wanted from me. At that point in my life, I was ready to give up on love itself.
You left me for a while. At one point when we were talking, you just kind of disappeared. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I worried that I had done something wrong. I worried that you pushed me away. I felt lost. I felt like something was missing. It hurt me to know that you were no longer there. There were nights that you would call me and just leave me hanging. I was so confused as to what was going on between us. There were days that you didn’t show up to school. I would look for you in the hallways but you were never there. The only question that was left in my mind was, where are you?
I was in a bad mental state for a while. I just kind of did my own thing with some friends. I went to parties and did somethings that wasn’t proud of. You heard about the night I kissed another boy. That drove you insane. So one day when I was in the lunch line with a friend and the boy I kissed, you just couldn’t take your eyes away from us. You were jealous and you wanted to prove a point to the boy. So you walked over and pulled me aside. You gently grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips. I was in shock and I was so confused. You left after that and I was unsure of what to do with myself.
Eventually, you got the nerve to ask me to prom. I was just planning on going with friends because I didn’t even know if I was going to have a date. Since you asked, I thought about it for that split second. I was worried about you leaving me again. I didn’t want to lose you again after prom was over. But the thought of you grew on me. The thought of you made me want you. I wanted to be yours. I wanted you to myself. I was having a hard time without you anyway. So I said yes.
When prom came close, we realized that you didn’t rent a tux. Your mom, my mom and I had to put it all together for you. My mom and I bought the shirt, vest and bow tie. Your mom got the pants, jacket and shoes. The night before prom, I asked you to stop by to try on your shirt to make sure it fit you. You had just got off work and it was almost midnight. I waited for you outside in the drive way. When you pulled up, it looked like something was wrong. You looked like you were crying. As you stepped out I approached you with open arms. You hugged me and pulled away for a minute. You looked at me as you tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. I asked you if you were alright and you hesitated. I got super anxious and waited for an answer. You told me that you loved me. You told me that you were so in love with me. I felt my heart swell in my chest and I felt speechless. I said it back because I knew there was something about you. You had become so important to me. You kissed me and we walked inside to try on that shirt. I don’t what it was, but you gave me so much hope.
I have fallen in love with everyone in your family. Even though they joke about how I put up with you, I still love them. They are the sweetest family I have ever known. I really love your mom. She is so strong and so special to me. I always feel at home when I am with you guys. When I need to get away from home, you always give me a place to stay. Your oldest brother is one of the funniest guys I have ever met. He is so intelligent and I admire that. I love the nights that we have spent over at his house. We have some great memories over there. Your youngest brother is just silly. I love him even though he likes to pick on me. I will still tickle him as much as possible. Your whole extended family is just wonderful. They really crack me up. They remind me of mine. I promise one day you will get to meet all of mine.
A year later, here we are still going strong. You have made me so happy. You gave me a promise ring for our one year. I just can’t believe that I have found someone like you. I don’t want or need anyone else. I just need you, Forever and Always.
You have taught me so much about love. You showed me how surprising love can be. You taught me how painful love can feel. You have showed me how amazing love can be. Love is one of many things. Love is definitely unexpected. That’s how it was for us and I am okay with that. When you and I took a break, it was so painful. I was upset most days. Some days I became jealous. Other days I felt lost without you. You have surprised throughout our journey. You have bought me things and you have given me presents. I am grateful for that. You taught me to accept love as it enters my life. I never saw you coming. I always thought that I would be single entering the real world. I was so scared of love because of the pain I was facing from my past. But that is when you came along and reminded me that it can be good. You have finally opened my eyes to all the good things that can happen in my life. Thank you for that.
You also taught me a lot about myself. I have never been the girl to compliment myself. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. I let people pick on me for my weight and the clothes I wore. I let boys make up jokes and rumors about me. It was painful being a girl growing up. I have always looked at models and celebrities. I wanted to be thin and pretty like them. Therefore, I grew to dislike my own body. You took a look at me in so many ways. You tell me you love how I smile and you can see my round, chubby cheeks. You tell me that you love the little mole under my left eye. You tell me that you love my smile and my laugh. You tell me that you love my curves and all. You make sure to make me smile and laugh before I fall asleep at night. Because of you, I have grown comfortable in my own skin.
You are probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You have become someone I cannot live without. I know we work too much. I know we are young and we still live with our parents. I know we are just college kids. But I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. You are something so special. I wish my grandmother could have met you. She would have loved you as much as I love you. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for everything that you do.