Thank You for Not Loving Me (Anymore)

We are all getting to the age where relationships have just become a bit harder. We catch feelings quickly, and fall out of them just as fast. We find someone that we want to be with, and for a bit, it seems like it will all work out; then life decides to give you a curveball and say NAH. It hurts so very much at the time, and we hate that it did not work out. While there is the mourning period that comes with a lost relationship (even “talking” relationships), there is also a lot than can be said once you’re finally over it. I know I never come out of relationships the same, and I learned some things about myself from that. So there are just a couple of things I want to thank my failed relationships for..

�Thank you for showing me things that interested me.

There are ton of things I learned that I liked, and I probably wouldn’t have even tried without your help. There is music I never would have heard, movies I never would have watched, and things I never would have tried until you showed me.

Thank you for not appreciating my beauty.

I have this new sense of self that I am a beautiful person, without you having to validate it. I started working out, and doing better because at first I wanted to impress you. Now, I do it because it makes me feel good. I do it because I have learned that the only person I need to prove my worth to is myself.

Thank you for teaching me it’s OK to be alone.

For so long, I searched for “my person,” and I searched for someone just to be with. As people, I feel like we all just want someone there. However, with the amount of relationships that don’t work out now a days, we just get harder on ourselves that we won’t find that person. I have to say — why do you need someone? Is it is just so you’re not lonely? Sometimes, you just need to work on yourself. You have to build yourself to where you want to be. That way you can be happy with yourself. As the saying goes: if you’re not happy with yourself, how can you expect to be happy with someone else? Well, it's true, learn to be "you" before you become a "we."

Thank you for showing me how to really love.

Since it didn’t work out with my past endeavors with love, I have learned to love. I have learned what it means to treat someone how they should be. I have learned the sacrifice that it means to love. And mostly, I have learned what not to do in a relationship. Now, when I am ready to date again, I will have a much better idea of how to love that person.

Thank you for making me stronger.

You hurt me, and that’s not something I was happy about. But, I got through it. I learned that I can take more hurt than I ever wanted to and still grow. I learned that I can also push myself farther than I ever thought. I have pushed myself to be a better person, and I have done more to better my life now that you’re not in it.

Last, Thank you for showing me what I deserve.

I believe a lot of people settle in relationships because it gets comfortable or because no one wants to get hurt. Well tough, life is full of getting hurt. But it is also full of love and happiness. People will hurt you, which is just how it is. Other times, you may be the one hurting them. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve out of fear. I know I never will again.

There is good and bad in every relationship. Always. You can choose to dwell on it, or you can choose to learn from it. Don’t make the same mistakes over and over again, and if you are then you are not learning. You can say “this time is different,” and yet has all the same signs as before. We all try to convince ourselves that they can change, when truly we are the ones sometimes that need to learn and change. We all need to start adapting before we get stuck in a cycle of the same relationships we are always in. It may suck at how relationships fail, but I always try to make it so I can look back as a lesson. I learned how to better myself FOR ME, and I know that the right person might come alone, but they are going to have to appreciate me as I am. So, thank you to the people that I didn’t work out with because you taught me that I am better off with you.