I would like to thank you for the past 4 years we spent together, you taught me a lot about who I am and I thank you for that. But more importantly, I would like to thank you for how you left me. I learned more about myself in our 5-minute text conversation when you broke up with me and 3 months getting over you than I ever did in our 4 years together. Here are a few things I learned about breakups and myself after you left me. Here is advice from my 18-year-old self to whomever it may concern after he has left you with nothing:

Choose exercise, not your bed:

Cry, cry some more, and cry some more if you need to. Then one day, get up, get out of bed and realize that that boy is not worth your tears and surely realize he is not worth wasting your time in bed mourning. For weeks all I wanted to do was sit in bed and cry, and I did indeed do that. I cannot tell you how many times I scrolled through my phone looking at all our old photos and text messages together. So mourn and take the time to heal, you need it. When your mind begins to heal, let your physical body start to heal as well. Your mental state is just as important as your physical state and your body will feel greatly rewarded when you take care of it.

Choose friends, not boys:

No boy will ever replace the friendship you have with your closest friends. I was so incredibly blessed with the group of friends I have. Friends that made it easy for me to realize talking to 5 guys just to fill the gap that me and my boyfriend once had was not the best choice. I know it seems like moving on quickly is the best decision and it seems easy to do when guys are asking to come watch netflix with them or to sneak over just to “hang out”, the sad truth is that's today’s society and I encourage you to stay grounded and realize your worth, you're more than a 11 pm text telling you to sneak over. But I found my friends after you left me, I created even deeper friendships with them and I realized in this time that it is ok to not constantly be talking to guys just to get over you.

Choose prayer not parties:

It was easy to go to parties every weekend when you left me. I no longer had to worry about you, I no longer had to worry about texting you every 5 minutes reassuring you everything was ok because you didn’t trust me. But in that time where I stopped worrying about you, I also stopped worrying about myself. I fell into the idea that if you didn’t care about me that I didn’t need to care about myself. I was wrong, even in my darkest times getting over you I knew someone cared about me. God did not give me a battle I could not get through, instead of blaming God and abandoning him I more than ever found him throughout our breakup. When you feel as though no one loves you, prayer is powerful, God is never more than a prayer away to reassure his love.

Choose water not liquor:

Losing you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, you took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces when you sent me a text saying you didn’t love me anymore. Most days all I wanted to do was forget your name, I wanted to forget how your lips tasted on mine and I couldn't wash my clothes enough to get your smell out of them. Our generation has the idea that in order to forget things we must drink our pain away. Why not right? It’s easy, accessible, cheap. Well why not? Because with time I learned that our bodies treat us how we treat them. Love your body and love yourself, chose water and not things that you think will replace him. You need your body forever, you don’t need him forever.

Choose passions not empty promises:

You left me with nothing, at least that's what it felt like. I believed you every night when you said you loved me. And when you left me you made me question everything in my life, you made me not trust anyone or anything. I found myself often hating you for that, for taking away my ability to let myself trust others and also most importantly myself. After you left me I wanted to do nothing because without you nothing made sense. But with time I learned that what I did with my life was not defined by when we were together, I found ways to express myself without you and I found new passions and interests I never knew I had when I was with you.

Choose yourself:

Thank you, thank you for leaving me in million little pieces wrapped in my mom's arms when I could not longer lie to her and tell her everything was “ok”. Because through this I slowly, piece by piece started putting myself back together. I started to realize how important it was to love myself and take care of myself, by myself, for myself. Thank you for letting me find myself, I hope you found yourself too.