Hello, ladies!
I’m a guy, and I’m not afraid to admit that we can be pretty cryptic with our text messages. A message sent at the wrong time or with the wrong choice of emoji can completely alter its meaning. Several female friends of mine have received texts from handsome young suitors thinking they were straightforward. But as a knowledgeable, unbiased male friend, it has always been my pleasure to illuminate the truth. Here are some common examples of male text speech in their correct translations.
1. "Hey" vs. "Hey what’s up?"
These are two standard text-based conversation starters, and yet their definitions are in almost polar opposition. "Hey what’s up?" typically shows genuine interest. This guy is curious about your life, your day, your world and would like to know what is happening. Eliminate the last two words of that phrase, and we’re left with “hey." This is not a conversation starter. This is a “feeler." The guy sending this to you probably sent it to three other girls and is gauging their interest in him based on their responses. He’s just started talking to you, and it’s already all about him. Don’t respond. You’re worth at least three words. There’s one exception to this rule, however. If you receive either text after 1 a.m., it’s probably not to ask you on a date.
2. "LOL" vs. "Haha"
You might be saying to yourself, “How could these mean different things?” The definitions mean pretty much the same thing; however, it is what these words imply that alert you to a text’s true meaning. You see, “LOL” has become filler text. It’s what we write when:
1. We have nothing to say.
2. We don’t actually think it’s funny.
3. We think it’s funny, but we don’t really care.
“Haha” isn’t that much better, but string a bunch of those together into “HAHAHAHAHA,” and you’re looking at a guy who actually thought what you sent him was funny. He is a keeper. He is a unicorn. He is your everything.
3. "I hope you don’t think I’m using you!" or "Ahhh I feel so bad."
Girl. This guy is using you. That is the exact word-for-word text I would send if I were using someone. You know what the give-away is? It’s the fact that he’s texting you that. If he really wanted to make it clear he wasn’t using you he would tell you in person or at least call you! As for "Ahhh I feel so bad," this might look real, but the fact that he’s writing “Ahhh” diminishes his genuine feelings. What sounds more real, “Ahhh I feel so bad!” or “I feel so bad.” This is one of those times where less is more.
Now for the lightning round!
4. “You up?”
Depends on the time this was sent, but most likely he’s on the prowl for a Netflix and chill partner.
5. “You wanna hang out?”
This is probably innocent enough, but does he sound that excited? No. What happened to the days of actually asking someone out to a predetermined event? Hold out for the guy who texts you, “Hey, do you want to see a movie this Friday?”
6. Wink Emoji
I shouldn’t have to explain this.
