In less than two months I will be on a flight to a place I’ve never been because of a group of 15 kids I met in a summer camp for refugees. Everyone says, “Wow, you’re studying abroad! You must be so excited!” Don’t get me wrong, some part of me is.

But I’m also deeply scared. I guess the reason for this is I don’t see this trip as a vacation or even a study opportunity. I see it as something I have to do because of the kids I met. I didn’t want to study abroad. I was compelled to study abroad to better care for people of other cultures in this country. So because I’m not going on a vacation, because this isn’t about me having fun, I’m scared.

I’m scared of being away from home for four months because my dad is 71 and fighting and I I have never been away from home for that long.

I’m scared of leaving my friends because it seems like I didn’t get all the time I wanted to spend with them this semester because of studies and homework.

I’m scared that the people who depended on me will secretly resent me for leaving them.

I’m scared of losing all the money I’ve saved up over the past two years and coming back with less than nothing.

I’m scared of not being able to afford to live there, of not being able to pay for transporation, for food, for unexpected expenses.

I’m scared of missing out on all the great things that will happen on my campus while I’m gone.

I’m scared of missing some of my friends' biggest moments.

I’m scared of not coming back--of somehow being persecuted for my religion, of getting caught in the middle of the war.

I’m scared of being only miles from the Syrian border.

I’m scared of contracting a violent foreign disease.

I’m scared of culture shock.

I’m scared of change.

I’m scared.

But I’m most scared of who it will effect if anything bad happens to me. For my family and my friends. For my campus and anyone else wanting to study abroad where I’ve gone.

But I know that these fears don’t matter because I’m not going for me. I know that these fears don’t matter because if none of these things happen (except for change) and they’re overcome, that I will learn more than perhaps at any time of my life.

And from then on, everyone I interact with from that culture, I will actually be able to understand at a deeper level.

And they won’t feel so alone.

I know I need to be a change. For my campus. For my family. For my friends, all of it.

So I take the fact that I’m scared as a blessing. Because I know I’m about to do something profoundly important that even I do not fully understand yet. I thank God for this opportunity. And I know that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay.

If I raise none of the money and am forced to pay all of it with extra work for the next few years after this, so be it. I’m going no matter what.

Challenges aren’t there to stop us. They’re there to keep us going past where we originally thought we could. So take them.

God bless you all.