I'm sure we've all done it before. We've tried to "shoot our shot" with someone and been told, "aw thanks you're such a great friend". Usually you tell your friends that you've been "friendzoned' or "stuck in the friendzone". We've seen the memes, "a word for our fallen brother in the friendzone." It's something we've all experienced, it's funny, we get it.
What we fail to realize that we are belittling and angered by someone exercising their right to say no. I know this seems extremely social justice warrior of me, but hear me out. Making someone feel bad for rejecting you is manipulative and downright rude. They don't feel a connection, so why force it? In the current climate we are in, we are making strides when it comes to exposing sexual predators and understanding what constitutes consent.
an anonymous entry to She Rates Dogshttps://twitter.com/SheRatesDogs
The most alarming thing about the use of "friendzone" is the response and overwhelming popularity in straight guys. Not saying that non-straight people or people who don't identify as male don't do this as well, it's just generally recognized within that particular community. I also speak from experience, as I am friends with a group of straight guys. (whom I love but sometimes their rhetoric is a bit questionable.) When I was a freshman in high school, this guy posted my text that was "friendzoning" him on Instagram for public ridicule. Now while I do look back on it and find humor, many guys feel the need to lash out in anger or even try to manipulate girls into stroking their ego. (Both metaphorically and literally.)
an anonymous entry to She Rates Dogshttps://twitter.com/SheRatesDogs
The thing is that this is by no means an isolated incident, and it happens to almost every girl I know. Most recently, a Twitter account @SheRatesDogs posts and rates these degrading texts and messages that were written to women. We as women still have not left this expectation of men to be the ones who are supposed to give them sex by the way we are represented in the media. Have you ever noticed that most of the texts then resort to slut-shaming women, or accuse them of leading them on?
an anonymous entry to She Rates Dogshttps://twitter.com/SheRatesDogs
The biggest issue in all of this is that we as a society are not teaching each other to be mature and decent to recognize the importance of someone's ability to say no. In this #MeToo climate, it's important to understand that consent is an important part of making someone feel as though they have a say in what happens to them and their body. Is it frustrating to be rejected by someone you think is hot, absolutely of course? However, it is so much worse to make them feel bad for exercising this ability. This goes for everyone. Perhaps by shedding light on these issues, we as a society will become generally more accepting of women exercising their right to say no. But until then, the term "Friendzone" is canceled. Thank you, next.
