Recently, I've realized that I'm in a new stage of my life. Stuck right in the middle. I'm somewhere in between tequila and wine. You know, the "party all night" or "sit and read" stage. I'm finally okay with turning down invites to wild nights out. With saying that I would rather take a warm bath or watch a movie without feeling like I'm going to get laughed at. I used to have the need to please. So even though I didn't feel like partying with friends, I still would so I could remain "in the circle." Now I don't care about being in the circle, I would rather be in the rectangle that is my bed.
For a while I was afraid to grow out of the party stage. Won't I be boring? How many friends will I lose? Then a wave of security rushed over me. If I get a kick out of reading Jane Austen on a Friday night then who cares if no one else does? Eventually we all grow up and grow in to our own skin. We realize our likes and dislikes and step out of the constant current of 20-somethings making their way to bars. We focus our energy on our own highs and not that of others. And let me be the first to say, it's a beautiful revelation.
Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoy dancing and laughing with friends. I'll always enjoy a top shelf tequila on the rocks with a lime. But I enjoy those things on my time, not when other people say I should. Now when I look for fun I look for my personal definition of it. If I want to go dancing, I dance. If I want to stay home and read, I read. It's been the best time of my life so far.
Do you like to paint? Study? Watch movies? Travel? Whatever it is, do it. And do it a lot. Oprah Winfrey says that how we spend our time defines who we are, and I couldn't agree more. I choose to spend my time doing things I love so that I manifest love in the highest form. I don't do things that aren't true to who I am or what I want anymore.
This new stage has been somewhat uncomfortable for me. Saying no hasn't always been a strength of mine, but it is making me stronger. When I see all the other 20-somethings going out I sometimes ask myself if I want that to be the main source of my fun again, but then good ole Jane throws a plot twist in to her novel and I quickly change my mind.
At the end of the day know who you are and know that person well. If going out is your fun right now, live it up! It goes by quickly and your passion will soon surface. Whatever it may be don't ever let anyone stop you from doing it.
