When it comes to watching your friend miserably fail at getting that girl's number at the bar, dancing on tables, blacking out, or simply gaining 15 pounds from food because somehow you’re a vacuum when you're drunk, are some of the many experiences one can go through on a weekend. It’s easy to find a multitude of personalities on the weekend, both heartwarming and creepy. So without further ado, I present to you the 14 types of people you’ll encounter on the weekend.
1. Frat Bros
They’re your typical, backwards hat, Vineyard Vines/Chubbies douchebag. You’ll see them everywhere and when you do, they’re probably trying out their lame pickup lines or shotgunning beer in the bathroom of the bar. Either way, wherever they are, they’re most likely hitting on either you or your girlfriend.
2. Your Crush
Don’t make eye contact. You can see them across the party by the keg. Just take a deep breath, chug the rest of your beer, and act cool when you walk over. Don’t worry you got this… OH GOD you just made eye contact. Holy shit they just smiled at you! All right now you gotta go say hi… Well, what are you waiting for? Go say hi! Geez. 
3. Parents
I’m sorry how old are you again? Nothing like seeing a 50-year-old mom do a keg stand. If my parents went out with me on the weekend I’d probably be disowned. But somehow these parents are totally cool with you throwing up in the bathroom and continuing to drink heavily. Actually, I think your mom’s throwing up now. You should probably go check on her.
4. Drunk Cigarette Smokers
Yeah, I’m a huge advocate of lung cancer, too. They don’t smoke cigs when they’re sober, but when they’re already drunk, they don’t mind a nice toke here and there.
5. Crying Girls
All right, so these are the girls you gotta stay away from. Like, I’m sure they’re nice, but you gotta stay out of whatever they’re crying about because I bet most of the time it's just bull shit.
6. Creepers
These are the types of people that scare girls away at parties with their awkward communication skills. Like sure, I bet they're very nice, but their way of talking to women or dudes is unusual. You can thank them for the drink, but immediately toss it out the window seeing as there’s a pill at the bottom.
7. “I Think I Met You Blacked Out Once” People
You think you’ve met them before but you don’t know where. So, like any sophisticated man or woman, you brush it off like you know this person although you don’t know a single thing about them. Doesn’t matter anyways, you’re probably going to blackout with them again. 
8. Pot Smokers
You can smell that good kush from a mile away. Whenever they pull out that pill bottle, everyone in the room knows that this party is about to get trippy. With regards to their status, they do know how to be civilized and not light up in the middle of the dance floor. But with all due respect, the saying “sharing is caring” is very hard to deal with when you've got Two Gs in your back pocket. 
9. Drunk DancersThese guys are like the mitochondria of the cell. They’re the powerhouse of the party and keep everything flowing smoothly. They know how to get a party started and keep it going till 6 a.m. 
11. The 100-Second My-Story Snapchatters
Stop. No one goes through all of them, anyways. 
12. Last Weekend's Hook-up
It’s awkward eye contact and uncomfortable small talk to make it seem like you didn’t just do the dirty last weekend. You might hook up with them again, you might not, either way who gives a shit? It’s not like you’re trying to avoid them. Oh wait, you are? 
13. The Judgmental Person
Screw these people. They don’t know what fun is if it hit them in the face. Actually, I kinda do hope they get hit in the face with something. 
14 Actual Friends
They got your back no matter what. You started off the night with them and goddammit you’ll end the night with them. (Unless you go home with someone, which is totally cool too.) They’ll pick you up when you fall down that flight of stairs and laugh it off like it was no joke, although your arm is snapped in two, take regretful photos of you doing stupid shit, or carefully tuck you into bed when you went just a little too hard.
