I’ve lived in Albuquerque, NM, Alpine, NJ, Annapolis, MD, York, ME, Santa Cruz, CA, Hays, KS, and now Claremont, CA. Since this is the only reality I’ve experienced, it’s always seemed relatively normal to me. However, conversing with other people, I’m reminded that the number of times I’ve moved by the young age of twenty is actually pretty unique. Moving can be extremely difficult, but I’ve learned a lot from it.
“Where are you from?” isn’t always an easy question
In college, one of the first questions anyone asks when meeting someone new is, “where are you from?” For many, this question has one easy answer. But for me, it’s difficult. There are a few ways I could answer. Some people who have moved a lot find it simplest to say the place they lived the longest. For me, that would be a tie between Hays, KS and Santa Cruz, CA. However, Santa Cruz has my heart so I always use it as my answer to this common question.
Homesickness isn’t a huge problem
It’s not as though I never miss my family, friends, or places from past times in my life. It’s rare that I get homesick, though, because homesickness implies a place one is longing for in which they have experienced many milestones. I don’t have a place like that, so I tend to miss people rather than my home, a town, or a state.
Socialization is everything
There is ongoing debate about which personality traits are innate and which are learned. Moving around a lot showed me just how many customs, beliefs, and ideas communities in different regions share with each other. I am a Political Studies and Sociology major, and I feel that my interest in sociology stems partially from my observation of different societies during my lifetime thus far. In the debate about how much of is internal and how much is environmental, I tend to lean toward traits being learned because I’ve seen this firsthand in so many societies. It’s not an accident that ideas widely accepted in liberal Santa Cruz, CA are shunned in conservative Hays, KS.
Embarrassment is relative
I don’t get embarrassed as easily as a lot of people I know. I used to. But I don’t anymore. I feel this can be attributed at least slightly to how much I’ve moved, because I’ve caught myself thinking on multiple occasions, “It’s okay. You’ll never see these people again anyway.” My life has been a constant cycle of meeting and losing people. Embarrassment stems from the idea that people are judging, and will continue to judge you for your actions. In my life, many people’s judgments have been extremely temporary.
Independence is necessary
Not having one consistent home, I had to learn new towns, new customs, and new people all the time. My mom was helpful in this process, but I also had a lot of time on my own in my childhood to explore new places. Since I often did this alone, I’ve become very independent and able to care for myself.
Meeting new friends is both awkward and exhilarating
Obviously meeting people for the first time can be awkward. However, the feeling that follows when you really connect with someone is one of the best I’ve ever felt. It’s so unique; it’s nearly indescribable.
Missing old friends is inevitable
Moving around a lot does not make you immune to missing others. Perhaps I am more used to being away from loved ones for long periods of time than many of my peers, but I still miss, care, and love very deeply.
Realities are temporary
When you’re constantly leaving people and places, it shows you how temporary every minute, day, and year of your life is. It taught me to value the present.
Some places feel more like home than others
Not having one “home,” I’ve developed the ability to feel at home in many settings. However, I also am still capable of feeling really displaced. In Hays, KS, I never felt at home because people there were so discriminatory. In Santa Cruz, I still feel extremely at home. Home is a sentiment, not a place.
The world is a big place
There is still so much exploring to do, and if I haven’t found my “home” yet, I know I will.
