Going off to college is both incredibly exciting and incredibly difficult. It’s probably the first time you’ve been away from your parents for very long, your friends are all in different places, and in a lot of ways it’s your first chance to build your own life. Here are some of the best pieces of advice for that emotionally draining first month away from home:
1. Talk to the people sitting next to you in class. Chances are, they’re just as uncomfortable and unsure of what to do as you are. I met one of my best friends because she sat next to me in introductory physics, and I started chatting with her before class one day. Even if you two don’t become besties for lifesies, it’ll make the class a lot more welcoming and enjoyable to have a friendly face there. Additionally, it might be very beneficial to work with others on your homework, so you’ll need some allies in the class.
2. Talk to your professors! Professors are normally eager to talk to students, and having a connection with your professor can make class a lot more comfortable and interesting. Especially do this if they're in your department! Professors in your department can provide all sorts of opportunities for you to participate in research, in teaching assistantships, and a myriad of other experiences. Besides, a lot of my professors have been really cool people and I became good friends with them.
3. Don’t be afraid to stop hanging out with certain people. The first friends you make at college won’t necessarily be the ones you’ll spend most of your time with. Even after your first year, you are not obligated to keep up every friendship you make, and you get to choose which people bring you the most joy. Befriend people who will explore new things with you, not ones who hold you back or ones who push you off the deep end into things you’re not comfortable with.
4. In college, you’re all in the same boat teetering between childhood and adulthood, so it’s healthy to want both. It’s perfectly normal go to a party one weekend, and build a blanket fort to watch cartoons the next. Don’t feel like you need to act like a professional grown up, because chances are the person sitting next to you in class stayed up until 2am eating Oreos and playing Pokémon.
5. It’s okay to call your parents every day. I called my mom several times a day for my first week away. Not only will it help ease the transition for you, but for them as well. If you call to tell them about all of these new amazing experiences, it will help them feel like you’re not gone from their lives, and it will keep reminding you that you don’t need to be an independent grownup quite yet.
6. It’ll be okay. If you need to cry every night for the first few nights, it’s okay. If you’re feeling like you’ve made a grave mistake by growing up, it’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way, and as you settle in everything will become easier. Your dorm room will start to feel like home, your friends will start to become your family, and you can become a more relaxed version of yourself. Try to push through the overwhelming change, because it will get so much better.
7. However, if you are finding yourself feeling particularly sad or anxious, seek the supportive counseling services that your school offers. There’s no shame in it, and even if you find that you don’t have an anxiety disorder or depression, it can be positive and helpful for all students to seek therapy occasionally, especially during a time of such transition.
8. Try to find a balance between work and play. I’ve always been a bookworm, an overachiever, a “Hermione.” In college, however, I had the realization that this isn’t just school, this is your life. You deserve to take nights off occasionally and you deserve to milk as much fun out of your college experience as possible. It’s time to let go a smidge of the perfectionism for the sake of your mental health. (If you’re not someone prone to doing their homework, disregard this! Do your homework!)
9. As important as classes are, so much more learning occurs outside of the classroom. I’ve learned just as much from going to guest talks and lectures, a diversity of club meetings, and from going to events hosted across campus as I have from my classes. Colleges are always buzzing with activities, and while it’s impossible to attend them all, really push yourself to experience a number of them, especially on topics you may be unfamiliar with. Mix up your English degree by attending an environmental activism club, or mix up your Physics degree by attending a poetry reading. If you can think of a topic, your university probably has an event or conference around it. Additionally, everyone you meet has so many unique things to offer, so learn from your friends.
10. Lastly, try to live in the moment. Each chapter in your life brings something new, so try to explore this new one rather than mourn the high school chapter of your life that is now over. So, don’t let what you miss (or don’t) about high school/your hometown hold you back. This is such a unique time in your life and before you know it you’ll be a senior like me, so make the most out of this new and exciting chapter!
