What I intend to do is explain how I see the person I am dating in order to help other people understand what they want in their relationships. When I am referencing myself, you should think about yourself and the situation you might be in or could be in. My intentions with explaining my affection towards my girlfriend is not to brag. My intent is to not show her off or point out her amazing qualities. I am not trying to paint an unrealistic picture of our relationship, or the person she is. I always found analyzing other people's thought process when trying to accomplish something helps me in my purist to my goals. I just want to help find that same happiness I have found. Here are the ten reason why I am currently in love.
1. I fell in love with myself.
The number one step to finding love and knowing you are in love is loving yourself! You cannot accept another person if you are struggling with yourself. I can say it is possible for someone to love you until you love yourself, but honestly, that is a lot of stress on the other individual. Nothing is impossible; I am just saying finding love is easier when you decide to love yourself first. It is easier to know you are in love when you decide to love yourself first. Personally, I had to accept myself which started way before I met my girlfriend. The peak of my self-confidence developed during my senior year of college, and it ended up going very well for me as far as relations with other human beings go. I can truthfully say I would not be in the relationship I am in today if I did not learn to love myself. I needed to learn what I deserve and bullshit I was not willing to accept. I felt like I deserved a girl that the one I have now, and well, I got it. Love yourself first.
2. Her flaws.
This is an important note here. Love is an easy feeling to feel but easy come easy go. You cannot truly love something if you never see the imperfections. If you don't see the imperfections then you are just in love with the idea! I love steak, but I am fully aware of the health problems it can cost. I am also aware of the things my girlfriend has a tendency of doing. I was aware and experienced most of them when I was her friend. You either accept them, or you don't. Never go into a relationship thinking you are going to change a person. You can give suggestions and hope they improve, but you cannot expect someone to change just for you. Right from the start, you need to start learning or noticing the little things that could be a problem if they happen constantly. You are never going to find a flawless person, but honestly, you can find someone who's flawed you love. Loving someone's flaws sounds weird, but it is true. Everybody will have flaws you learn them and decide if you want to love them or leave them. As the relationship develops and you find/develop more flaws, you communicate with your partner and work things out.
3. We developing our relationship.
This is a fun one, and a new one for me! I love working on this relationship. I love the fact she wants to work on this relationship. Working together. Developing a system and going through life growing together. It is simply amazing. I don't mean I grow as a person and she grows as a person I really do mean we grow together. Learning how to live with another person and adult stuff like that. Learning how to be with another person and learning their tendencies and being there for them. Yeah, developing a relationship is fantastic. Even with best friends, it is all the same, but it's really new for me. I can say I have been a pretty shitty boyfriend for most of my life, and this is really my first time to put in serious effort and be great and it's amazing for me. I love the process and I think a lot of people will too once they move past the "getting to know you" phase.
4. She makes me grow as a person.
From the very first moment I saw her, she started helping me build my character. We met at my friend's party and I had to step outside of my box to approach her. I have NEVER been the type of guy to walk up to women and pick up chicks. Lets me put this in perspective here. I can and I am sometimes known for randomly talking to strangers with no problem. I can talk to a random girl with no problem but never with intentions of making her attracted to me (yes before we were friends I tried to "talk" to her but she had a boyfriend and I respected that). The first moment we had I needed to grow. Throughout our friendship, she pushed me to grow in a number of different ways. From being social to learning how to understand another person's perspective. Just by becoming her friend I wanted to grow as a person because I was amazed at how great of a person she was. Dating her is the same. I looked to grow to become a better man for her and myself.
5. She is absolutely beautiful.
Yeah. I am not going to play any games here and pretend I wasn't instantly attracted to her when I first laid eyes on her. Just my personal opinion here, but looks matter. Meaning everyone should be with someone they are attracted to. I am certainly not suggesting dating people just because they are stunning but you need to be attracted to them. The more attracted the better. For me, she was the most attractive person on campus in my 4 years of college. This is not BS here, and I have told her that multiple times. I always found her to be the most beautiful girl on my campus. I was and still am deeply attracted to her, and that is extremely important why we started, and why we still work.
6. Trust.
You cannot love without trust. I trust her will everything, and if I did not, it would be extremely hard to say I loved her. Trust is key when trying to love someone. Do not date someone you do not trust. Big things, little things, everything! It's obvious, but this is important.
7. I'm invested in her.
I love the endless amount of potential I see in her. She has goals for herself, and I want to invest my time and positive energy to ensure she achieves her goals and even the ones she thinks she cannot achieve. I have invested a lot into her, and I love seeing it pay off daily. I love the fact she is constantly working towards her goals. It great to know time is not being wasted, ya know.
8. She's invested in me.
The amount of time and resources she has invested in me is absolutely beautiful. She assisted me with jobs, school work, general advice, and so much more. I cannot think of a time where she asked for anything any return. She was investing in me way before we started dating. That is the definition of a good ass friend. The belief she has for me now and the effort she makes on my behave to ensure I succeed is fantastic. It is an amazing feeling to have someone supporting you, investing in you because they believe in you. Fall in love with that feeling because it's rare.
9. Happiness.
Overall this is the goal. If you are not happy how can you love? You need to be happy, genuinely happy. Not, "I just ate a hamburger," happy, but the, "Damn. I am lucky," happy. I mean it's just that simple. I enjoy being around her. I see her every day, and it's just great to be around her. Simply happy, and that is what you should be looking for when in a relationship. You have to be happy more times than not. There will be arguments and times when they absolutely annoy you, but if you're only really frustrated at someone only one time a month, that is probably a good sign you enjoy hanging out with that person
10. She is my best friend.
This just makes life a whole lot easier. You already start of dating someone who knows you and understands you. From that, you two can work on building and growing with each other. The world is torn on the idea of dating friends. I hear all sides of the spectrum, from "Nah she's way too good of a friend I would never date her" to "She's amazing. Hell yeah, I would date her! Friends or not I don't care." Obviously, I lean more towards the latter, but that is because I do not understand why that friend barrier exist. A friend is essentially another human being you enjoy being around and makes life extraordinarily better. If you're attracted to that friend, why not date? Why lessen your chance at forever happiness my eliminating good prospects because of silly reasons? That is my thought process on that topic. I have been friends with this girl for the longest time, and if we were to be just friends for the rest of my life, I would have been perfectly OK with that. We work fantastically as friends. I just always thought we would work even better in a relationship. For those wondering am I scared this could go wrong and I could lose a best friend, the answer to that is no. "Hell Nah," actually would be my answer. First thing is, I don't get stuck on negative possibilities. I choose not to waste time thinking about all the bad stuff that could happen. Second, I told her the friendship comes before the relationship. Besides, I believe if people were really going to be your friend they will stick through with you no matter what.
This is a solid list of things to look for or work on when trying to find that person you love. You can never force the issue, but if you just keep these few things in mind, finding someone for you becomes easier. You may not find the right one immediately, but at least you know you will be making the steps in the right direction.
