As someone who is face blind, it is incredibly obvious that people don’t think through what we go through. From our own friends, to movie directors, to just the way the universe was set up, there are many struggles that happen so regularly, that I sometimes forget everyone doesn’t experience them.

1. We don’t know you if you change your hair.

Just last week, I was in a meeting and a girl who I’ve known for years came in with a different color hair than she’d had before. I had no idea who she was and after trying to figure out who wasn’t accounted for, I still didn’t know.

2. Movies are awful.

The majority of movie and television directors don’t take us into consideration. I don’t blame them, because as we are a huge minority, it doesn’t affect business for them in any way. If two characters have the same hair color and style, it’s incredibly likely that at some point, I’m going to have to ask who they are. I might even think they are literally the same character until I see them together.

3. We recognize wardrobes.

I can recognize right away if someone is wearing a shirt or jacket I haven’t seen before. Mainly because I’ll have to frantically look for other clues to figure out who I’m talking to. Usually when I get it, I then compliment their new clothes to make up for the lack of recognition.

4. Girls are far easier to recognize than boys.

This has always been the case for me, and I think a huge factor is haircut. Society has put us into boxes where boys are expected to only have a few hairstyles, while girls have so many that it’s impossible to list them all. Since elementary school, I’ve always had a much higher success of matching name to face with girls.

5. We don’t know people out of context

Like wardrobe, the place that you know people from is huge. So, if I know Claire from work and I see her at the store, I’m not going to have any idea who she is. Similarly, if I see the same person in two settings, I might not even realize the same person. I had a coworker who was in a class with me and it took almost a year to realize that they weren’t two different people.

6. Don’t even get us started on multiples.

If I can’t tell people who don’t actually look the same apart, there’s almost no hope for me with identical twins. If I know them well enough to work out their individual sense of style, then I might get it. But otherwise, or if they happen to intentionally dress the same, I won’t know.

7. We work out little tricks to remember people.

He wears a red coat, and that guy has a long beard… However, the second one gets a new coat or the other shaves, you have to start all over. And yes, sometimes, the tricks we make up to tell our friends apart might rhyme.

8. We think half our friends could pass for twins.

I used to be convinced that a girl I knew in high school could pass for my twin, and only after everyone else told me that she couldn’t did I start to believe them. It turned out, we both had brown hair. That was it.

9. We can’t even fathom how other people see people.

Even though I know that faces blur together and all look alike to me, I can’t imagine otherwise. It’s all I’ve ever known, and to try and think how other people can just look at people who look similar and remember which one is which without help…it just gives me a headache.

10. We wish people understood.

When you meet a new person and it takes almost six months to remember them, and even longer to recognize them when you aren’t expecting to see them, you can easily feel like something’s wrong with you. The third or fourth time someone repeats their name, you start wondering if maybe it’d be better just to never ask and pretend it’s okay.