“So, what are you?” A very vague question to ask someone. Yet, I have found myself being asked this question numerous times, by almost everyone I meet. What am I? Sounds like a pretty existential question. The easy answers would be a female, a college student, a millennial, a human being. But I know these are not the answers they are looking for when they ask me this question. I always know exactly what people are really trying to ask me, which is, “What ethnicity are you?” And when I tell them, the usual response is: “Oh really? You don’t act like it.”
Yes, I have had the displeasure of people telling me that I don’t “act” like my ethnicity for as long as I can remember. I think the worst part is that when people say this to me, they intend it as a compliment. It is not only what they say, but how they say it. They say it as if not "acting" Puerto-Rican is some sort of accomplishment that I should be proud of — as if I should be proud to not fit into whatever stereotypical box that they place the people of my culture in. What's worse is that most people even act surprised, and don't even try to hide it. I used to just awkwardly laugh it off and try to move on from the subject. But as I got older and grew tired of hearing this response from various people, I came up with a much better response. Now I just respond with a simple question: “Well what is a Puerto-Rican supposed to act like?” And for some reason people seem to have a really difficult time answering this question for me. I will admit that I am being slightly sarcastic when I ask this question, but I am also being quite serious. Because when I hear this it makes me wonder many things... Is my ethnicity really supposed to dictate my behavior and how I am perceived by others? Would they have had a different reaction or have been less surprised if I said I was Italian or Irish? What is it about being hispanic that makes it easier for people to paint such a broad and generalized picture in their head of what we should all act like?
I am not naïve enough to believe that we live in a society free of judgment and stereotypes. And I am not going to lie and say that I am completely innocent from doing this myself. We all let stereotypes and preconceived notions cast our judgments about others before we even get to know who they really are. I try my hardest to keep this in the back of my head when I hear the inevitable response to the dreaded "What are you?" question. But after getting this response from people over and over again after they find out my cultural background, it is tough not to take offense to it. At the end of the day all I can really do is continue to be the same person that I have always been and keep pushing back against the racial stereotypes that society so desperately wants to keep me in.
