Heartbreak. Probably one of the most painful things we as humans can experience. Some get over it easily, some not so much. Some find help getting over someone at the bottom of a bottle, getting with someone else or taking the time to cry and be sad for the loss. But this isn't what you might think it is. This isn't a shot in the dark, oh I hope he sees this article for him to realize that this was a mistake. No, this is me writing about how I found solace in music and realizing my self-worth. That I do not have to be sad forever that this chapter in my life has come to an end.
Demi Lovato has a song on her latest album that over the past few weeks have been the anthem song of my life. When I heard the song "Tell Me You Love Me." for the first time, I thought it was some powerful love ballad, about being so in love with someone and that no matter what through the ups and downs, that you will get through it.
But the more I listened, I began to realize that there is more to this song, that there is an underlying message. However, in the beginning, I related to this song because I know that with my previous relationship that I wasn't the easiest girlfriend, and I know I am not innocent of the breakup but that doesn't mean that I didn't give it my all. As Demi sang "all my friends they know, and it's true. I don't know who I am without you. I got it bad, baby."
I managed to lose myself while I was with him.
But I needed him, on days both good and bad. I thought I just needed him and his love to make me whole. Because without him there was a part of me that felt foreign, empty.
So when the day came that he broke up with me, I felt lost; like I had no purpose. The lyric, "And I hope I never see the day that you move on and be happy without me. What’s my hand without your heart to hold? I don’t know what I'm living for If I’m living without you." That resonated with me because now that he and I were no longer together and because of previous situations, I didn't know what to do with my life as if I lacked purpose. And the thought of him one day moving on and being happy with someone else killed me because I wanted to be the one.
But then Demi later sings, "Everything I need is standing in front of me. I know that we will be alright. Through the ups and downs baby, I'ma stick around I promise we will be alright."
Listening to the way she puts forth her emotions and then later seeing the music video and how she portrays this specific line- that is when I realized that I don't need a relationship to justify who I am, at the end of the day all I need, and what I will always have, is myself. This song's true meaning is the vulnerability of coming out of a serious relationship and having a difficult time dealing with it. The biggest misinterpretation of the song is the line "you ain't nobody till you got somebody" because being with someone does not justify who you are. You yourself justify you.
And that is what I must remind myself each and every day. That I am worth far more than I could possibly imagine. It is okay to just be alone and to love myself first and to love myself so much that I will not settle for anything less than I deserve. Though I loved him tremendously, I know that won't go away. But I have to look past that and take time to myself.
And I know I will be alright.
The lyric "tell me you love me. I need someone on days like this, I do" though at first, I thought I needed to hear it from him, in reality, I needed to hear it from myself. That I love myself no matter what, so that is what I will do each and every day.