"Are you okay?"
GIPHY
Legitimately my least favorite phrase in the English language. Not because it means your friends have started to sense that you're acting weird. Not because I have to come to terms with whatever is wrong either. It's because I have to scramble to find a lame excuse to throw everyone off the scent of the trail to my feelings.
"Oh my god yes of course! I'm just tired."
"Just stressed about homework, all these assignments are killing me."
"I'm good I swear!! Are you good?"
GIPHY
I've perfected the art of avoiding ~emotionally trying~ over the course of eighteen years. Deftly changing the subject to maneuver away from an inevitable breakdown, making light of a seriously distressing predicament, assuring everyone that guy's comment didn't hurt my feelings--the list goes on.
Short-term, it's a fool-proof plan. I successfully avoided the heebie-jeebie emo vibes, and as a plus I became a polygraph-proof liar. But long-term, hiding your emotions--angry, sadness, embarrassment, whatever--only pushes that problem deeper into the depths of your psyche, bit doesn't it? If you keep it up for too long, the next thing you know you'll be screaming at someone for for no reason while waiting in line to get a sandwich.
I get it. Telling someone how you feel = vulnerability. And vulnerability brings along another feeling that many of us find very uncomfortable--out of control.
In an age where we can control practically everything--who sees our pictures, who we text, when we text them--putting our emotions out into the world, up for anyone to interpret and manipulate, it's understandable if we prefer to bottle them up.
Pinterest
Cut to last week. My friends and I were having a meditation sesh where we all go around and talk about our lives. I know you will be SHOCKED to learn that I usually don't share much. But something was on my mind, and this time I decided to share it.
No NO No I'm not telling you the juicy gossip!!! You little sneak!!!!!
But what I will tell you is that from this experience I learned that it's worth a shot to talk about how you're feeling. Talking openly about what's going on in your life might be one of the most freeing things you can do. And sure, when you're giving away a bit of control by sharing your problems. But remember you're giving that up in exchange for being unchained from the crushing weight of emotional baggage.
It's scary, wearing your heart on your sleeve. But being vulnerable doesn't mean that you surrender all your power. In fact, it works in quite the opposite way. To talk about your feelings is to affirm your humanity. You are human, you feel human emotions.
You don't have to tell the entire universe how you feel, and it doesn't have to be only the sad feelings. Start small! Tell your mom she makes you happy. Or jump off the Figurative 10 meter Feelings High Dive like I did, and tell your friends about the terrible past few days you had. If they're half as incredible as my friends are, they'll understand exactly how you feel. And if they don't surround you in unconditional love and support--F*ck 'em! Those aren't your real friends.
Take it from a save-the-tears-for-the-pillow girl. No one is emotionally invincible. It's better to talk about it.
GIPHY
