I’m a feminist. Of course I’m a feminist, but that doesn’t mean I’m always a good feminist. I listen to music that has degrading lyrics towards women without thinking about the message because it’s just “fun”. I don’t actively talk about feminism because I’m afraid of people thinking that I am “too harsh” or a “man hater.” I don’t always stand up against sexist comments because sometimes it’s easier to be silent than to show people that I’m upset. I have a lot to work on when it comes to being a feminist, but in my mind, being a bad feminist is better than not being a feminist at all.
In the TED Talk, "Confessions of a Bad Feminist," Roxane Gay highlights many of these points. She talks a lot about the fact that there is an idea that one has to be a perfect feminist in order to have a say in the feminism movement. That is simply not the case. There is no perfect version of feminism. Every woman struggles with what it means to be a feminist. Many women don’t even consider themselves feminists. That is where the rhetoric of being a perfect feminist needs to change.
When it comes down to it, feminism is solely defined as the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. There are other crucial parts to feminism, but being a feminist means believing in equality. Roxane mentions a few things we as feminists can do to make better choices about living our lives as feminists. A few of these choices were to change the channel when a TV show shows women as things to be played with, change the radio station when music comes on that treats women like nothing, and speak up about how wrong it is that sports teams still allow their players to play when they have sexual assault charges against them. These choices go deeper than feminism. These choices are about being an upstanding human being.
Every day I work towards becoming a better feminist. I try to surround myself with people that believe in equality, but even then, it can be hard to be the best feminist I can be. It’s a work in progress, but it’s something that a lot of people are working at as well. I will leave this article with a quote by Roxane:
“I am a bad feminist, I am a good woman, I am trying to become better in how I think, and what I say, and what I do, without abandoning everything that makes me human. I hope that we can all do the same. I hope that we can all be a little bit brave, when we most need such bravery.”
