Some people love Taylor Swift, others hate her. Me? I’ve been a die hard fan of hers since she dropped “tear drops on my guitar”. I’ve listened to every single album, and every single song Taylor has ever let out. Most of them i know by heart. But I must say her latest album “ The
Tortured Poets Department” had hit me in a very different way then any other album she has released.
I was in a 14 year narcissist relationship. This relationship had some of the highest and lowest moments of my life. At times he made me feel like I was on top of the world, like I was the only girl in the world but then most of the time it hard to just breathe and towards the end I had to walk on egg shells just to keep the peace.
I didn’t think that I would ever be able to find a song that could compare to how this relationship made me feel. That was until Taylor Swift released this album. A whole freaking album that explains how I felt during this 14 year toxic relationship.
Not only did I feel seen but I didn’t feel alone anymore. Knowing that she experienced and felt what I had made me hurt for her but it also made me hurt for my old self. I’ve been out of this relationship for two years now, and I’ve managed to shove these feelings deep down, never thinking I would face them.
But as always Taylor has a magical way of expressing these feelings that I somehow cannot. So I had no choice but to feel these feelings and face them. It was hard and it still is.
Who i thought was the “love of my life” turned out to be the “loss of my life”. In the beginning I didn’t think I could do it. Part of me wanted to go crawling back to him as i always did, I often wondered if this feeling I felt when the relationship first ended was the same way an addict felt when they where having with draws.
I had to be stronger then the want for him, when I know it wasn’t that I wanted him. It was that I was literally addicted to the toxicity I had dwelled in for so very long. And after doing some major research I found that leaving a narcissist relationship it can have the same affect of having with draws from a drug.
Taylor Swift had once again saved me in ways I can’t even explain. This woman has always managed to come out with an album just when I need it. I didn’t know I needed this album but she did. And I’m sure there are thousands of other people who needed her music just as much as I do.
Forever a Swifty 💜🖤
