What does it mean when you already know the first and middle names of all your children? When you've already picked out nursery themes and colors? When outfits have already been bought? If every time you see a baby, you say "AWWEEE...ugh...I'm not ready!"
Well...this means you got a bad case of Babie-Fevah!
But don't worry yourself, love, because this is a natural feeling that everyone feels. And yes, there are ways to work through the feeling...a bunch! However, you may be wondering how will you tell your significant other that you want a baby? What will they say? Will they leave you? Will they say they want a baby, too?
Well, let's slow down first and talk about two things. First on the list is "the conversation with yourself". You need to be sure that having a baby is what is good for your at this moment in your life. Take a second and figure out what having a baby would add to your life. You got crying, poopy diapers, more money spent every month, more cooking, less time for your personal needs, less time to go out with friends, more responsibility added to your lifestyle.
Ask yourself how will your life be altered? If you're a college student who still lives with your parents, having a baby may not be the best option specifically because you are not able to support yourself BY YOURSELF yet. Plus, it will not be worth getting that daily headache of judgments, incessant lecturing, and overall lack of support about how "you've ruined your life". Having that amount of stress and pressure is not an energy you want to be brought into your life.
Negative energy in your life--whether it be a nagging parent or your own fearful thought has the power to harm your baby. On the flip-side, your family could be very supportive of you and help you every step of the way.
However, this will not change the fact that you will still have another life dependent upon you and only you for food, love, and comfort. And if you've talked to any mother, you will never be completely ready for what's to come.
The second thing to talk about is "the conversation with your significant other". I can admit my boyfriend and I have gone through these waves of emotions and constant resistance...more often than not. I was the first to mention baby fever. He did not run away from me and told me he wanted children as well, children specifically with me... which in my case did not help the urge.
But knowing what he wanted up front helped me to further the conversation about having babies. In order to deal together, we started talking about what we wanted to do in life individually. Figure that out and make a plan that stretched itself over a few years.
Next, we talked about the fact that we needed to have a detailed enough plan for our future together. We made sure to know time frames to start trying, and what we wanted to have already completed or mostly completed before a baby came along. We both agreed we wanted to be married before a baby is born. We have and still are having conversations about how we want to bring them up in this ever-changing world.
Then after we got all we needed each other to know, then we sat back and imagined us putting that much love into a little us. A little boy that looks like him but acts like me. A little girl that looks like me but acts like him. We've given them names. We've interestingly managed to manifest our desires into beings that we both can see in our minds. On the days we both just want to drop the plan and the birth control, and just risk it all and go for it, we keep subtle reminders about when we said we'd try and what we have planned for ourselves.
Bottom line is, my lovely reader, you need to be sure that you are sure of your decision to want to have a baby as well as being confident about discussing bringing a baby into the world with those you love. You will have a lot of negativity thrown at you about NOT having a baby but if you've created assurance with your significant other then all you need to do is keep talking-- little by little, not to convince but to have clarity and peace for yourself. That is most important.
