There are just some things you don't talk about.
What might I be referring to, subject 'you'? I'm glad you asked!
Things that make people itch, cringe, or gasp. Things that would make your grandfather faint or prompt your younger siblings to embark on a Google search escapade so they could figure out what a "fuck" was and why you said it so much. There are other things, though-- more dramatic and upsetting and wildly unimaginable things that you just aren't supposed to talk about.
So. let's talk about it.
Sex.
Before I decided to be sexually active, I had made a pact with myself that I would not be sharing my experiences in the bedroom with anyone. "Sex is a private and personal thing," I used to remind myself. When I started having sex, I realized the only thing wrong with sex was being ashamed of it. If there's any sort of guilt or emotional resentment for your partner, you're not ready. If you are, go to town on your partner-- with consent, always.
Sex is a wonderful thing. It lowers stress levels and is a great way to connect with someone on a more intense level. People talk about violence in the media freely, so why not talk about sex?
Illness.
Fun story-- at the end of January, I tried to kill myself. At the beginning of February, per the excellent Health and Counseling services at my school--beware the binding of mandated reporters-- I was hospitalized for five days in a psych ward. I've got at least nine good reasons to try to kill myself, but none of them were good enough to push me into traffic or loosen my trembling grip on the guardrail of the highway overlooking the creek. Nobody-- outside of the hospital staff-- wants to know why you tried to kill yourself. Not your parents, or your friends; not the school administrators and definitely not your significant other. People just can't handle the truth. At least not like that.
Killing yourself is a serious thing. More people than you might think have attempted suicide, or have been thinking of suicide. It happens. So why in the hell wouldn't you talk about it?
Transphobia.
If you attend a traditional women's school-- like Hollins-- odds are the trans community is wildly oppressed. Little known to a great deal of the cis-gendered, for-show-no-action-allies, Hollins has implemented a "three-strike rule" to combat the presence of trans students. The first step is legally changing your name. The second is beginning hormonal therapy. The third is elective surgery. Hollins reserves the right to expel trans students who break these "rules". Since when did rules become synonymous with oppression?
Trans students belong at Hollins, and until all male staff and men in affiliated Hollins programs-- until male grad students are expelled and names associated with men such as the Louis D. Rubin, Jr seminar room, and Charles L. Cocke memorial building are renamed for prominent women, those working to expose the oppressive society that is Hollins will not rest. It won't be easy. So talk about it.
Maybe people around you don't talk about it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. Break out, piss people off, tip stuff over, get someone's attention and scream. You'd be surprised at how many people have the same ideas as you.
