You have the lump in your throat and butterflies in your stomach. You feel like you are about to be sick and pass out all at once. You know what you need to do, but are too afraid of how the situation will unfold or what they will have to say. You have a problem with someone, but you talk yourself out of saying anything because of the fear you hold of them not understanding or making the situation worse. You brush it under the rug but deep down you still hold a piece of resentment wrapped in anger towards a person.
Because you chose not to say anything, nothing can be fixed. Nothing can be mended. Nothing can be apologized for and the person with whom you are disappointed with can never explain themselves. You are building a wall between the two of you and the longer you let it go on, the higher it gets and the sturdier it becomes. Sure, what you may be upset over is small but clearly, it is big enough to you if it causes you so much stress. Instead of even giving them a chance, you are inveterately writing off your relationship.
While you are fuming inside, the person may not even have a single clue. They may be carrying on with their days not even thinking that you have a problem with them. And the second the truth comes out, they are bombarded with every emotion you've ever had towards them for the past several days, weeks, or months. Instead of diffusing the bomb before it blew, you let it sit at their feet and then you walked away for them to deal with the mess.
You may feel better that you got it all off your chest, but what you did is completely unfair. They are left with the broken remains of the relationship, the guilt of hurting you, and the pain they hold in their hearts for the way you carried the situation. Unable to even apologize for what they did, they hold an anger towards you for the way you mistreated them and the situation. Because you chose not to say anything but still hold onto your anger, they were never able to explain why they did what they did. They are left wondering why you chose not to salvage the relationship.
If you love somebody enough, you would want to do anything you can to keep them in your life. If you truly cared, you would make sure that you are always considering their wellbeing and the quality of the relationship. When you choose to let your relationship slowly rip apart because you are too afraid to confront someone even if it's just to vent about how a situation made you feel, that person is left with feeling like you never actually cherished their presence in your life.
If you genuinely loved each other, you would want a friendship with open communication, even if it isn't always pretty. Talking about your problems to a person you both know is unfair and belittling. The person you have an issue with doesn't have a chance to tell their side of the story or defend what is being said against them.
If you can take anything away from this, know to always just talk about the situation to the other person involved. Get everything off your chest and find a way to fix the problem. Give them a chance to explain and also give them the same attention you'd want them to give you. Be patient, be understanding, and be open-minded. If you can honestly say you care about them, then make sure you take the proper measures to save your relationship.
