Life! That is what we are all living every day and that is what can be the death of all of us. Within life we have so many decisions we must make, what to do and what not to do. Why must these decisions be so hard? Why must they make us feel as if we have been making the wrong life decisions? I’m far from a perfect person, honestly, I make all the bad decisions and that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person it just means I’ve had a lot of life lessons. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and edit some of my decisions, maybe I could figure life out better. But if life was easy that would be absolutely no fun life is meant to be the challenge that you can never fully win.
During College, I have opened my eyes and seen that maybe I’m not the only one who doesn’t have their life together? Maybe I’m not the only one who questions every decision they make and hope that it will end in the positive. I had someone tell me the summer of my Senior year that on my face she could see that in College I was going to find my future husband, she told me I would find the love of my life. But once again those decisions come into effect and I just found the wrong one, I didn’t find my future husband but what I did find is my life lesson. All I can say is that this woman’s prediction has not happened yet. But I guess it will happen when I stop looking or caring. But in the meantime, all I can do is look back on the life lesson I did have in my life and tell him thank you.
Thank you for allowing me to open my eyes and see just how ugly hearted you are. Thank you for allowing me to see that I’m not that bad at decisions because if I make a choice and can learn something at the end of it all I’ve done a good job. Thank you for showing me that all things do come truly with time and patients. Thank you for showing me that you can't change someone, they will change when they are ready too grow up and be an adult. Thank you because now I see just how strong I can truly be, because with every risk I took all I had at the end was pain. I give out all this good advice too people but it was like I wasn’t utilizing it myself truthfully I was a hypocrite.
Truthfully I was fixing everyone else problems but could never open my eyes too my own. It was as if me giving advice to everyone else was blinding my own judgement and decisions, but when I sat down and my mind was clear I saw just what I needed to do. I needed too move on, I needed to get rid of the one thing that caused me so much stress and anxiety. In doing that I dived right into a pool of happiness, smiles, and laughter.
So at this point too the women that told me I would find true love and my future husband in college...I'm just gonna stop looking, I'm just gonna wait it out because when that true love does come; and it will I will be ready. I will be ready to not only take my own advice but to find only happiness because stress and anxiety is never worth it.
