Advice From My Subconscious: Please Take Care Of Yourself

Advice From My Subconscious: Please Take Care Of Yourself

How much love can I give you before we are both hollowed, devoid of emotion?

Remember the day you were born. Oh, how you made a full moon more magical, a daybreak more alive and sunset more beautiful, marking a joyous celebration of life. It was a room full of tender love caged in the fragility of new-found hope. Another generation to carry on the legacy of so many. Your small heart was the size of a hazelnut beating a powerful song into your creators. They vowed to never hurt you, to love you, to cherish you and most importantly, to take care of you. When you have people who dedicate their entire life to see you smile, why do you hurt?

You owe it to their devotion to take care of yourself.

It is not selfish to want enough room to breathe. Make sure you can thrive before you accommodate for the comfort of others. You are just as worthy and just as valuable as the ones around you. Radiate, because you are the child of sun and moon, as graceful and clear as the sky itself. Breathe, and remember how you feel when you take it all in. Take care of your little pinky toe and the scars in your hidden crevices. Take care of your stretch marks and blistered hands.

Reach with those blemished hands for what you want because no one else will just give it to you. It is OK to have needs, wants and desires. It makes you human. Embrace your goals as they should be the very things that define you. Make your story and be the author of your narrative. No one can take the pen away from a passionate writer. Watch as you become richer in the lessons of experience. You will overflow with the fruits of history. Take extra care of your silver memories and golden thoughts. Take care of what you see, hear, taste and touch.

You are entitled to your senses, feelings and emotions. It is ok to be cautiously sensitive. Anger, pain, sorrow and grief are yours. And in your tears, the rivers that flow through the valleys of your tired face, you possess the possibility to be happy, to laugh and to be at peace once more. Showing how you feel does not make you weak; it makes you as strong as the pillars of faith surrounding you. I want to hear your thunderous laugh booming. I wish to see you learn from the screams seasoned with petty anger. Use this tumultuous storm inside you to find grace. Take care of the bones that lift you up and the muscles that ache when you run. Take care of the blood coursing through your veins and the oxygen filling your lungs.

Lastly, take care of your heart because, dear God, you only have one.

You are so fragile but so strong — one tremendous paradox of sorts. Do not break, you are not porcelain. You are glass, and you can take care of yourself.

Love,

Your subconscious

Cover Image Credit: Mahi Patel

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I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I'm not going to isolate myself anymore.

I’ve noticed that since I started college, I dropped a lot of habits. Some were habits that I really needed to get rid of, such as picking at my nails and snacking way too much. Other habits, though, I really shouldn’t have dropped. Maybe I just got too busy or lazy, or maybe it was just something for the high school me. Yeah, I’ve changed a lot in college but I’m going to try and get back into the good habits I had.

College gave me a lot of time. Suddenly I had all this free time and I realized that it was entirely up to me what I wanted to do with it. The freedom is really great, I won’t deny that, but what I noticed was that I found myself alone a lot.

Maybe it was my intention that some days I just wanted some alone time, but more often than not I found myself realizing that I hadn’t seen or talked to friends in a while. I realized I wasn’t hanging out with people anymore. I was alone.

Now, I know the importance of myself reaching out. Before I always worried that there was a reason I wasn’t seeing or talking to people as often, I mean, there was school so maybe everyone was just busy.

But I feared that I was missing out on so much was because I was unwanted in those moments. After gaining confidence, I've decided won’t isolate myself anymore. I’m an outgoing person, but I won’t be selectively outgoing anymore.

In high school, I could barely go two classrooms down without seeing someone and stopping to talk to them, and I want college to be the same way. It’s really impossible to know everyone at your college but reaching out isn’t that hard for me to do, I’ve just been lazy. I haven’t put in as much effort as I should be putting in and I know that if I want to keep some of the amazing friendships that I currently have, I need to not be distant.

It’s easy to drift away when emotions and events start piling up. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is just lay in bed and not think about my to-do lists and schedules and problems that I have.

Once I start doing that though, I get sucked in and it becomes so hard to get the energy to get up and move. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to hide away with the “what ifs” and speculation as to why I didn’t go or get invited. From now on, I’m just going to go, and then see what happens.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To My Best Friends, Thank You

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

I have gone through many friends in the past few years, some that lasted a while some that only lasted a few months, but you know exactly when you found your perfect person, soulmate, best friend, the one that will never get away. It’s the friends that stick with you through the toughest times and stay.

The ones you call at 3:00 a.m. because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and can’t sleep and they stay on the phone until your ready to sleep. The ones that you can count on to pick you up because you need a ride no matter where you are.

Dear Best Friends,

I just wanted to thank you for being you and for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. Thank you for sharing in my happiest moments, and for listening to my saddest stories and giving compassion and empathy from wherever you are. Thank you for being the only person I ever want to confide in. Thank you for being the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Thank you for making the world a better place, just by being in it. Thank you for defining selfless, always putting others before yourself, you are going to change the world just as much as you have changed mine. Thank you for all the memories we made at Disney this year on our senior trip. Thank you for practically being my second Mom.

Thank you for setting the bar so high and making it impossible to find another friend as good as you. Thank you for making these past years we have been friends feel like forever and for giving me enough memories to last a lifetime, but not ending there.

Thank you for making me hurt when I miss you, but for taking the hurt away when I see you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the absolute privilege of being able to call you my best friend, thank you for being my person. Thank you for giving me these reasons, and a million more, to be thankful for.

I sometimes find myself looking back on my life and realizing how huge of a part you have played in keeping me steady when the rest of my world has been falling apart. How you have known what to say and do in the moments when I have felt all control slipping through my fingers.

Even if it’s just dropping everything and taking me for coffee, shopping and listening to me try to untangle the mess I call my life. Thank you for those days when the rest of the world is against me, for making me feel less alone. For believing every silly dream which enters my head and being excited for me about things which no one else understands. Thank you for always validating my emotions, for taking my side, for telling me when I’m wrong, for being honest.

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