I Learned From My Dad That You Can't Force Someone To Love You
The most valuable lesson I learned from your absence
Growing up, I always felt like an outcast because I did not have my father in my life like the other little boys and girls. I would get asked, "where's your father?" I would simply say, "I don't know." I didn't want to go into detail because it upset me. I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to be there for me, but I guess you can't always get what you want.
As I got older, I realized that you can't force someone who didn't want you to love you. Honestly, it's a tough pill to swallow. All kids want to be loved by their parents. Now that I'm older, I really don't care anymore. The love that I was missing from him was filled with the family that actually cared for me.
I'm sure you don't know this, but my mother gave up her dreams to raise me. She raised me with the help of my grandparents, aunts, and great-grandparents. She worked hard to make sure I had what I needed, even if she had to do without. Now, that is the true definition of love. My grandparents do the same. My grandfather took over your role. Because of him, he filled that emptiness you left me with.
You can tell me you love me all you want, but I can't bring myself to believe it. It's hard to forgive when you're treated like you don't even exist.
I do thank you for one thing. You taught me that I can't make you love me. I'll always remember that when I'm looking for a relationship. I can't force a man to love me. I can't even force my on father to love me.
Without your presence in my life, I've learned to never depend on someone. The only exception is the family that has always been there for me. I can count on them no matter what.
And to be real, I'm so thankful that I don't have your last name. Having your last name would remind me of how unloved you've made me feel over the years.
You can fill my head with lies all you want, but I will never believe them. All the things you've told me, I don't believe. One thing I know is that my family would not lie to be about how you've done my mother and me.
With that being said, you know now my true feelings about how I was done. There's more I can say about how unloved you made me feel.
I can't force you to love me. Nor can you force me to love you.