Empathetic. Sincere. Warm-hearted. Friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing.
Basic fear: Being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
Basic desire: To be loved
There are many more positives and negatives of this type that I could run on and on about, but that is not the point of this article.
As I began to read through each individual characteristic I felt like someone was reading me like a book. Like someone had just gone through my journals and taken what I have said and meshed it all into a blur of personality traits. Reading all of this was a bit of overwhelming at first, I"ll admit. But as I was scrolling through the enneagram Instagram, I found something interesting. I found someone who speaks on each type while also incorporating Christianity.
The more I watched her speak about my type the more I snapped back into reality.
This says that my basic fear is being unwanted, and feeling unworthy of being loved. And these are very real human emotions that I have struggled with. But this. But God. He sent Jesus to die on the cross so I would not feel wanted. He did it because he wanted me. Unworthy of being loved. He specifically took on the pain of all of humanity BECAUSE he thought I was worthy enough to be loved.
My basic desire- to be loved. Done. If the creator of all the universe so profoundly loves me, why would I still feel this void?
There is no reason to. But it happens, because I'm human. And because I'm human I struggle with feeling unwanted, not worthy of loved, and desire to be loved. What I've learned is that these emotions are not invalid. They are real and they to take a place in my heart, but what's most important is that when I feel these things I know I can always go back to the solid truth God calls me to be wanted. He calls me to be worthy of being loved, and He tells me I am loved.
When we believe our core identity we begin to feel less determined to be identified by what others say about us. When we begin to fully understand who He says we are, we no longer have to fight to find our identity in others. Rest in these truths, they will sustain you for all your days.