My Thoughts On Love
Start writing a post
Family Friends

No, I Have Never Been In Love, But Here Are My Thoughts On That Four Letter Word

What is it?


For as long as I can remember, the only 'real' or 'true' love that I have known or witnessed up close, was between my grandparents and in movies.

Growing up without an idea of what love is in a stable, healthy, relationship is rough.
It's hard not knowing what to do, expect, or feel.

How do you know when it's good? How do you know when it's bad? When are you supposed to leave? What are the red flags? Does everyone really have a soulmate? Will I ever find someone to love, that loves me, and wants to commit to me?

Without a solid example set in front of me growing up, I became extremely closed off.
I don't talk about myself. I don't focus on me. I don't open up to others, especially those who I am potentially romantically attracted to.

I have no idea how to date, how to be in a relationship. I was never taught or guided. I never had good examples to learn the correct form of love from.

I know everything that I don't want, everything that I want to avoid, and everything that isn't love.

Over the years, watching the people around me date and watching what works and what doesn't, I have a pretty good idea of what I want.

I have figured out a lot of red flags, when to leave, how to communicate, and what love SHOULD look like. Now, there is a lot of 'love' that surrounds me, but that kind of 'love' isn't the kind that I want. No thank you.

I don't want the fighting every day, breaking up once a week, screaming and yelling.
I don't want the controlling, manipulative, forceful actions.

I want communication, trust, honesty.
I want teamwork, support, and genuine love.

What blows my mind, time and time again is that women and men in relationships are okay with receiving poor treatment. That they are okay with the constant fighting and arguing. That they are okay with the controlling behavior. And the number one answer you get when you ask why they stay in the relationship that they are in, well it's because they are in 'love.'

How can one feeling be so overpowering that you brush aside all the red flags, that you ruin yourself, let the other person break you down?

I don't understand, and hey, maybe that's because I have never been in love.
But if that's what love is, and those are the kind of situations you get into because of love, well then F THAT. I don't even want to be in love.

Obviously, I haven't experienced the feeling, so there is only so much I can say.
I do think that I have a decent head on my shoulders and I definitely know how I want to be treated.

Everyone out there should want to be treated right. Everyone should want to be loved correctly. Everyone should experience love in a good, positive, genuine way.

I might not know what love is, but I sure do know what it's not.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments