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50 Iconic Quotes From 'The Golden Girls' That Will Always Make You Laugh

"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass."

Rutgers University

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50 Iconic Quotes From 'The Golden Girls' That Will Always Make You Laugh

Instagram

"The Golden Girls" created history when it first premiered in 1985 setting the stage of strong-willed female characters who are aging gracefully with dignity. It is a treasure trove filled with humorous scenes and situations that will always be relevant to watch. I still rejoice in watching these spectacular women embrace life with full stride and the way they always strive to focus on the brighter side of life.

These 4 dynamic and awe-inspiring women taught us that age is indeed nothing more than a number and that we can set out to accomplish anything our heart desires at any time.

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tv and film

Pop Culture

20 Timeless 'Golden Girls' One-Liners Perfect To Drop In 21st-Century Conversations

These four golden ladies always had a comeback for everything.

The Narrative

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20 Timeless 'Golden Girls' One-Liners Perfect To Drop In 21st-Century Conversations

Touchstone Television

Since it's premiere in 1985, "The Golden Girls" has managed it maintain it's popularity for over 33 years and counting. Like "Sex and the City," millennials love to decide who's who in their friend groups (I'm definitely a Dorothy with a hint of Blanche). There's also hundreds and hundreds of merchandise items, T-shirts, and DVD collections to celebrate your love for "the Golden Girls" — there was even a "Golden Girls" restaurant in New York City (which is sadly, now closed).

Though the best part of "The Golden Girls" wasn't just the girls themselves, it was the incredible writing by Susan Harris (the show's creator) and the writing team as a whole that brought the girls to life. Here are a collection of twenty quotes to use in your everyday life, print one out and stick it on your wall.

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pop culture

Entertainment

If You've Seen These 17 Shows You Had A Great Childhood

What do you mean you've only seen "The Addams Family" movie???

Purdue University

162

If You've Seen These 17 Shows You Had A Great Childhood

NBC // Golden Girls

If you've never seen half of these shows, you should re-evaluate your life choices! Everybody loves shows like Sex and the City, Friends, Seinfeld, and Full House, but let's talk about some better classics. Sure, shows like Friends are also classics, but these 17 shows might surprise you with their wit and morals.

1. "The Andy Griffith Show"

(1960 - 1968)

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Entertainment

If You Thought Breaking Up With Your Significant Other Was Hard, Breaking Up With Your Friend Is Even Harder

Forget throwing out old mix tapes from past lovers or deleting pictures you thought you'd save forever, how about addressing the awkward tan line you've acquired from taking off your friendship bracelet?

Grand Canyon University

If You Thought Breaking Up With Your Significant Other Was Hard, Breaking Up With Your Friend Is Even Harder

Adrienne Kalehuawehe

It's interesting to think that breaking off ties with your best friend could hurt just as much, if not more, than breaking off ties with your significant other.

It sounds really stupid, but I almost cried when I broke my 314-day Snapchat streak with one of my best friends. I know what you're thinking, "Why would you cry over losing a Snapchat streak? It's nothing special."

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Arts Entertainment

6 Old TV Classics That Make Netflix Originals Look Like High School Media Projects

In a world full of reality TV stars, sit back and watch some "Golden Girls."

West Virginia University

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6 Old TV Classics That Make Netflix Originals Look Like High School Media Projects

NBC

Trust me, I'm into the fad of watching famous people make fools of themselves on TV.

I get a real kick out of seeing celebrities cry about losing an earring that could pay for my college tuition and then some. But nothing beats sitting back and watching shows as old (if not older) than me.

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Relationships

I'm Going To A Different College Than My BFF And It's Not The End Of The World

Leaving your best friend can be something that is definitely hard to wrap your head around.

Grand Canyon University

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https://www.instagram.com/tianna_thorpe/

As a high school senior, the most anticipated moment is graduation. Then, shortly after that, it's college. Like most 18-year-old girls, I have good friends. Some who, when we graduated, we stopped talking and went our separate ways. But, I have an ultimate BFF who has been my bestie since junior year of high school. We do absolutely everything together from random shopping trips to Target to getting half-priced slushes at Sonic every day. But there is one little bump in our friendship. She is going to the University of Missouri in mid-central Missouri and I am attending Grand Canyon University all the way in Phoenix, AZ.

The summer before college, the topic of separation never even came up because we refused to bring up such a sad subject. Sure, our time together is slowly coming to close, but there are many positives to going to a different college than your best friend.

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the golden girls

"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass."

“Rose, I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?” – Dorothy

"I wonder if jewelry comes from Jewish people? In Little Falls, the jeweler was Jewish. Jeweler, Jewish—I wonder if there’s a connection." - Rose

"How long is this story?" - Sophia

“It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music.” – Blanche

“My Mother Always Used To Say: The Older You Get, The Better You Get, Unless You’re A Banana.” - Rose

“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” - Blanche

"Let me tell you a story. Sicily, 1912. Picture this” - Sophia

"It's like we say in St. Olaf -- Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." - Rose

“I could vomit just looking at you." - Dorothy

“Dorothy: I have a date. Blanche: With a man? Dorothy: No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap.”

"Well, nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman." - Blanche

“People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” - Sophia

"Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time. Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking?"

“After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!” - Sophia

"Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty…or was it a little floozy?" - Blanche

"Where Are You Going?” “To Either Get Ice Cream Or Commit A Felony. I’ll Decide In The Car.” - Dorothy

“I could get herpes listening to this story!” – Dorothy

“No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it.” -Sophia

“My great-granddaddy always said that there are two things you never sell to a friend—a car and a slave—because if either one of them quits working you’ll never hear the end of it. Of course, they hanged my great-granddaddy. He said a lot of things he shouldn’t have.” — Blanche

“You've given some of your finest performances in back alleys” – Dorothy

“Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there’s no such thing as security; and number three, don’t go see Ishtar. Woof.” – Sophia

“Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains." - Dorothy

“I hate to admit it but he melts my Haagen-Dazs.” – Rose

“Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth?” – Blanche

“It’s wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.” – Dorothy

“I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.” – Blanche

“I will put a Sicilian curse on you that will be like hell on earth” – Sophia

"You look more like a chicken when you're angry." – Rose

“Life can turn around and spit in your face.” – Sophia

“There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line.” – Blanche

“It’s like you people don’t pay any attention to me whatsoever.” – Rose

“Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!” – Sophia

“I’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen.” – Rose

"I thought I was gonna die. I swear I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and I thought, ‘What a shame if I die now, I’m too young…and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.” - Blanche

“It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie!” – Rose

“If This Sauce Was A Person, I'd Get Naked And Make Love To It” – Sophia

"I know I look square, but I’m like my father’s tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home." - Rose

"Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to? Rose: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me. Dorothy: Is it working? Rose: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down."

“I eat raw cookie dough. And occasionally, I run through the sprinklers and don’t wear a bathing cap. And at Christmas, I’ve been known to put away more than one eggnog.” – Rose

“Excuse Me Rose, Have I Given Any Indication At All That I Care?” - Sophia

"I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste." - Sophia

"They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ‘Today is the first day of the end of your life." - Dorothy

“Oh, Sophia. I want to explain about last night. When I was a little girl one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm…" - Rose

"I've been having a good time, and there wasn't even a man in the room." - Blanche

“Dorothy​: Oh, c’mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind. Blanche: Tell that to my thighs."

“I’m an old white woman. I’m not supposed to have color. You want color? Talk to Lena Horne.” - Sophia

"Jealousy is an ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you, in anything backless." - Sophia

"Calm Down, Honey." - Blanche

"You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die.” – Rose

These four golden ladies always had a comeback for everything.

1. "I could vomit just looking at you!" - Dorothy

2. "Eat dirt and die, trash" - Blanche

3. "Not for you, nursey nurse nurse nurse!" - Rose

4. "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless!" - Sophia

5. "No, Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke" - Dorothy

6. D: "Woo! it is really coming down!" R: "What's coming down?"D: "The Liberace marquee at Ceaser's Palace" - Dorothy & Rose

​7. D: "Oh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?" R: "You mean at a funeral?"D: "No, Rose at a pie eating contest!" - Dorothy & Rose

8. D: "Your kidney?"B: "My kidney"R: "Why would she need a kidney?"D: "TO FEED THE CAT, ROSE!" - Dorothy, Blanche & Rose

"Thank you, you bed hopping relic" - Sophia

10. ​“Isn't it a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures and you're just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother's chin to lock her away forever?” - Rose​

11. B: “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.” S: “You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?” - Blanche & Sophia

12."If that doesn't fill the void, nothing will" - Dorothy

13. “Jean is a nice person, she happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless a lesbian sheds that I don't know.” - Sophia

14. "Oh, Rose, please. I don’t even know why fools fall in love.” - Dorothy

15. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray fro brains" - Dorothy

16. "Go hug a landmine" - Dorothy

17. "Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato" - Dorothy

18. B: "You no-good, backstabbing Jezebel. I demand you show me that paper!"D: "I'm sorry, flattery doesn't work!" - Dorothy and Blanche

19. "Can you believe that backstabbing slut?" - Rose

20. "CONDOMS, ROSE! CONDOMS! CONDOMS! CONDOMS!" - Dorothy

What do you mean you've only seen "The Addams Family" movie???

1. "The Andy Griffith Show"

2. "I Love Lucy"

3. "The Munsters"

4. "Who's the Boss?"

5. "The Golden Girls"

6. "Mister Ed"

7. "The Brady Bunch"

“Dorothy: Oh, c’mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind. Blanche: Tell that to my thighs."

7. D: "Oh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever given a eulogy?" R: "You mean at a funeral?"D: "No, Rose at a pie eating contest!" - Dorothy & Rose

10. “Isn't it a fact that you have a drawer full of retirement home brochures and you're just waiting for the first sign of dribble on your mother's chin to lock her away forever?” - Rose