There comes a time in every relationship, friendship, mentorship, or job where goodbye is an inevitable word to come out of our mouths. It echoes in the walls of our hearts for much time after it is said and sometimes stings more than a bee in mid-July.
Goodbye is a special word. It is the closing of a door of a part of our lives that is not to be opened again. It is the finality of an era where one thing was seen as the norm and now will be seen no longer. Truthfully, goodbye is the worst word that exists in this world.
When making connections with people, I immediately get out my sewing kit and figuratively sew myself to them, so as to permanently connect myself to others. This is okay for awhile because the dreaded "g" word hasn't made its appearance yet. But then the day eventually comes when the word must be said and the separation must be done.
Undoing the weeks, months, and years, of sewing parts of me to parts of them is one of the most painful experiences of a lifetime.
Sometimes the goodbye we need to say is a goodbye to ourselves. That is one of the most painful of them all. To look into a mirror and into your own eyes and know that you are saying goodbye to yourself is something that only few understand.
In a sense, saying goodbye to yourself is the worst goodbye because you are saying that the person you are is gone. You are giving parts of yourself away to the abyss that is the ozone, hoping that at some point the fragments of your being will eventually find a safe place to land. To some this is a sad experience and to others it is only a sense of pure relief.
It can be relieving to finally be okay with letting go of expectations that both you and others may have for you. It can be relieving to look at yourself and know that the endless revolving doors of contentment and disappointment can stop spinning.
Like I've said, goodbye is a sense of finality that only the word and feelings associated with the word can embody.
Some of you may be thinking "it's never a goodbye, it's a see you later." But in my experience, that's not a true statement. Sure, maybe the person you're saying goodbye to will come back and you will see them from time to time. But the relationship that you used to have with them will never be the same as what it was. Nothing will ever be the same.
At this time in my own personal life, I am saying goodbye to many different people. People are coming and going, leaving and coming back. Needless to say, it's very much so an emotional experience to say goodbye, especially knowing that our paths may never cross again.
All I can do now is be content with the presence of these people in my life as I see them, cherishing the ones who aren't going anywhere and continuing to say my goodbyes to those who have to go. I can be happy with the memories, laughs, and important conversations that they've blessed me with. I can be content with what I have in the present, knowing fully that within a moment it could all be different.
But....like everything ends, so must this.
