“You kiss me as if it's a favor done for me” - Rich White Girls, Mansionz
I remember when I got the courage to kiss you goodbye for the first time after one of our dates and feeling my stomach get butterflies as I pulled away. You had always been the one to kiss me. As time went on, it seemed more and more like I was the one who had to kiss you, and when you kissed me first that it was a job. It was something you did for me, not because you wanted to and that should never be the case.
“I feel your chest, but I can't find your heart” - Obsessed, Maggie Lindemann
Looking into your eyes I realized at some point something switched, and you had started looking at me to see your own reflection. It became a game of "I'm the man, and you're lucky I still let you love me." The heart I thought you had, the one I thought was full of love for me was truly only full of yourself and your ego.
“I don’t know how I let you lead so long 'Cause right now you’re only holding me back 'Cause I’m not where I want to be, and you’re not who I wish you were” - Fever Dream, Grayscale
You were in control of me and what we were, but what we were and who you were isn't what I wished it was. With that said, it was all I knew. Our relationship isn't something I regret, but it is something that held me back from things I loved. You didn't support my hobbies, you told me they dumb, yet I still supported yours. What I loved was just to make you happy.
“I got you figured out, you need to have control” - Yes Girl, Bea Miller
It didn't take you long to realize you had a power over me; you had complete control. I would drop almost anything when you would call me. That was an error. As soon as I took any control back from you, or I didn't seem to care what you said, you would snap. You always found some way to put me down, to put me back in what you thought was my place and for you to get your control back. I was powerless.
“And I use every bone in my body to keep on holding on to your trust” - Dang!, Mac Miller
Trust is something that is the foundation of a relationship, at least in my mind. When my trust in you started to slip, I did everything in my power to regain it. I was holding onto the little bits of things you were honest about, even when those little bits were things that hurt. In reality, I shouldn't have trusted you, but you had led me to believe that you were worth it.
“And I can’t tell anyone the morning after you.” - Morning After, Meg Myers
When I would spend the night I would leave early the next morning for work, and you would walk me out and kiss me goodbye. That was a moment I didn't want to leave, because I knew as soon as I left your porch steps you, and the night prior, would be pushed to the back of my mind. I began to hide the fact I had seen you, not daring to tell my friends until weeks later. They all hated you and were disappointed in me. I risked losing those I loved most for you.
You want me to be yours, well then you gotta be mine” - My Boi, Billie Eilish
Double standards are wild, aren't they? You said you were okay with me seeing other people because you were too, but boy that was a lie. As soon as you knew I had, you realized you had lost a little control and told me no more. You kept it up though, and I was expected to sit back and be okay with it. I became nothing more than something you had ownership of.
“Then you’re gonna put back on your clothes then I'm gonna wish I was alone but we never change a step and do it all again” - Bored, Bea Miller
It's as simple as that, I loved our time between the sheets but as soon as it was done I wanted nothing more than to leave. Grab my clothes, grab my keys, say goodbye and get out. I didn't want the hurt of you not caring for me anymore to set in so I'm would drive home at ungodly speeds and blast music to distract me. I just wanted to be alone, but I knew I'd be back in your bed again soon.
“Shoulda listened to the sh*t my mama told me not to mention all the warnings from my homies” - Anymore , Lil Aaron
My friends and my family liked you until our relationship got rocky and we split, the first time that is. We played a game of off and on for so long, and everyone kept telling me you were no good. I didn't listen because you had me wrapped up so tightly around your finger. I should have listened.
What we had I don't regret, in fact, I'm thankful I got to experience the things we did, both good and bad. With that in mind, there were things I wish I would have noticed, all of the red flags are so obvious now. I wish that I would have left earlier. I lost who I was in order to love you, yet that wasn't enough for you to keep loving me.
Hillary Duff 
