Taco Bell is great. That 4:00 a.m. drive-thru closing time makes it viable for all meals and it's cheap enough to justify going there. Most of all, it's delicious. The only bad thing is not knowing what to order. With that speedy customer service paired with an extensive menu, ordering can be a stressful challenge.
Never fear, I've decided to use my sad dependence on Taco Bell food for the greater good. Here's the Taco Bell menu ranked.
5. The Chicken Quesadilla
This was my first love, the first meal that I ever tried from Taco Bell. It's the one that got me hooked. So, maybe I'm biased. The thing that's great about the chicken quesadilla is that it's probably the easiest item on the menu to digest without sacrificing the flavor. There's some sort of secret sauce that really makes the ingredients pop, but I've never wanted to kill myself after eating one. The only downside to this otherwise perfect meal is that it's a little low on the value side. A meal (which comes with a drink and regular taco) averages around $6, but rarely does one feel fully satisfied. At the same time, it's too indulgent to be a part of a "get as much food as possible" smorgasbord. You have to be just hungry enough to get it, but not hungry enough to regret leaving with only one thing. That's why this places at number five.
4. The Crunchwrap Supreme
I think that everyone has had one of these at least once, but I've never seen anyone consider it their go-to for Taco Bell. The thing is, it's actually a pretty good deal. Considering that the equivalent of this at Moe's (the stack) is one of the most coveted and pricey items on their menu, having one at Taco Bell made quick and cheap sounds pretty good. It's got meat, veggies, cheese, and basically all of the quintessential taco ingredients compiled into one easy to grab, easy to eat bun of deliciousness. There is a catch, though. While you're getting several flavors for the price of one, the chefs behind your favorite drive-thru cuisine aren't exactly masters of their craft. Blobs of sour cream aren't uncommon and neither are totally dry spots. When you get one made well, it's amazing. When you get a sloppy one, it's a different story. That's why this one falls at number 4.
3. Cheesy Gordita Crunch
It's a hard taco and a quesadilla. Right there, you should be sold. It's two dinners for the price of one. However, what really makes the Gordita good, in all of its crunchy splendor, is the way in which it combines those two things. It's not messy like a Crunchwrap, but it's not as unfulfilling as a quesadilla on its own. It's the perfect thing to get when you're on the go, but not quite self-loathing enough to commit to two separate menu items at Taco Bell in one trip.
2. Quesarito
Just like the way that the Cheesy Gordita Crunch combines melted cheese with a taco, the quesarito does it with a burrito. What's the reason why it places higher than the Gordita? It just comes down to the fact that burritos are better. You get the bonus of beans and rice in a burrito, plus the cheese in a quesarito is a lot meltier, stickier, more terrible for you, and more delicious. The only reason why it's not number 1 is because it's probably the most regrettable thing that you can eat. Just 20 minutes after downing one of these, you are guaranteed to be kicking yourself. The time commitment of eating a quesarito (you really can't plan to go anywhere for a good hour after sitting down to eat it) keeps it from being the best.
1. Fiery Doritos Locos Taco
Here it is, the single best thing that you can get on the menu. At its core, it's simple. It's a beef taco that's been around for generations, but the added kick of fiery Dorito flavor makes it a notch above your favorite Mexican delicacy. It's small enough that you can order as many as you feel like you'll need and that ability to customize is a real life saver when you're either really hungry or only going for a late night snack. Most of all, it's the one thing that you literally can not find anywhere at any other "Mexican" restaurant here in the United States. Sure, other places will give you a taco with hot sauce, but that fiery, crunchy texture is unparalleled. The best part is that one simple Fiery Doritos Locos Taco goes well with any of the items listed above. You, quite literally, can't go wrong with one.
