It has been said that that everyone should work in two fields at some point in their life: retail and restaurants. These jobs provide life experience that almost everyone has something to gain from; namely, learning to work with people. More importantly, learning to deal with people. After working in retail for many summers and for one semester of college, this summer, I got a job serving at an Irish Pub. I had a lot to learn when I first started, as I had never waited tables before. I still learn new things almost every day that I go to work. However, I've found that there is consistency among customers that come in. On your typical night of serving, there are nine different tables that you may encounter:
1. The Special Request Table
“I’ll have the Taco Salad, hold the Taco.”
This table might just be plotting to make your life and the kitchen staff’s lives as difficult as possible. They have a lot of requests, and I’m not talking "hold the tomato on my sandwich, please." As you walk away from the table, you realize that you don’t even know what they've ordered because it's not even close to a single menu item. I should know– my family of picky eaters invented the special request game. Whether it’s due to a diet preference or a simple distaste for every ingredient on the menu, these orders make using the computer a nightmare, especially on busy days and nights. Just hope that they tip well.
2. The Big Party
It doesn't matter if it’s eight adults and five kids (each kid distracted by an iPad at the table) or 10 old college buds. This table teaches you one thing: organization, and it starts with taking their orders. Forgetting someone's food is almost inevitable if you’re not meticulous when writing down orders. When the realization hits you that Grandma's pot pie didn’t make it onto the ticket you sent to the kitchen, you feel like a terrible person. Then, there’s keeping the drinks refilled. So. Many. Drinks. No matter how much you may be intimidated by it initially, this table will make you a better multitasker and an all around better server.
3. In-And-Out Diners
This is a fast-paced dining experience. This table has their drinks, appetizers, and dinner orders ready for you as soon as you greet them. They seldom care to hear the specials; they are already giving their money to the restaurant, they certainly don't need to give an extra twenty seconds. They ask for the check as soon as their plates are clean and pay right away. Personally, I don’t mind this table all that much: they are straightforward, decisive, and make my job easier. But, if it’s a busy night, beware. If you’re not on top of your game, attentive, and as efficient as possible, your tip will most likely suffer at the hands of this table.
4. The Jokers
“Yes, I need change. Can I have it in all Indian Head Nickels?”
“You may not take this out of my way.”
“No, I was planning on finishing this piece of lettuce I left on my plate.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love a customer with a sense of humor. But some nights, constant sarcasm and corny jokes are difficult to pretend to laugh at.
5. The Cheapos and Complainers
If you’re going to be tipped poorly by any table all night, it will probably be by this one. And it may not even be your fault. These tables have something to say about everything, usually related to the price of the food, which can be extremely frustrating. As a server, you’re the middleman between the kitchen and the customer. Really, you're the middleman between the whole business and the customer. You don’t make the rules, you just enforce them. And you do it with a smile and a good attitude, even though you know your tip is going to be low. The specials are overpriced? I apologize. Did you ever think that you might just be paying for a quality meal? The craft beer you decided to try is “gross?” You didn’t have to branch out. Please just leave. Thanks.
6. The Creepers
Have you been referred to as any of the following by a table?: honey, sweetie, babe, baby, or ay other belittling pet name? Was the person who used those nicknames of the opposite sex and/or definitely realized that they were saying something inappropriate? Have you ever had a totally inappropriate comment made to your face? Have you ever walked away from a table thinking “Eww, eww, eww?” This is that table.
7. The “We’re Not In A Hurry” Party
Depending on the kind of night you're having, this could be your favorite or least favorite table. Either way, they will keep you at work all night. This table sits and has two or three drinks before ordering. It is likely that they are “waiting on a few more” and at least four stragglers will join them at some point in the night. They order some appetizers and sit with those for forty minutes before they decide “yeah, I think we’re ready to order.” If you’re busy, they don’t care: they’re totally fine sitting and chatting. Just keep the wine flowing and the chicken wings coming. They leisurely eat their meal, stay for more drinks, and most likely order dessert. Then, when everyone else has left the restaurant and it is way past your bedtime, you have to awkwardly ask them to leave because your shift ended an hour ago. Occasionally, they are slightly annoyed, but most people are happy to comply, and their gratitude for your extra time is reflected in the tip.
8. The Regulars You Hate
These regulars believe that they are entitled to V.I.P treatment because they come in every week to eat, even though every week, they are equally awful to wait on. They have a ‘usual,’ and it’s probably some completely convoluted version of a menu item that they affectionately refer to as “The *Insert Their Name Here*.” You don't remember the specifics of their order? How DARE you. You shouldn’t have to ask, ever. Come on. They are also probably bad tippers and laugh at all of their own jokes, even though they are some of the un-funniest people you have the displeasure of dealing with that night.
9. The Regulars You Love
These are your favorite tables to wait on. They know you, every member of the staff, and many of the other customers by name, and they always ask how you’re doing. They know where you go to college and that one day, you want to go into occupational therapy. They understand that the kitchen might be backed up some nights and are never rude about it. They tip consistently well because they appreciate you, the food, and the restaurant. You feel compelled to give them the best service because they’ve made your job easier and more enjoyable on a routine basis. This table rocks.
