It's that time of my life I guess. The time where I have no idea where I am, who I am, or what the hell I'm doing. I'm always trying to find something... But I have no idea what it is. Well, I guess the best way to describe where I'm at right now is through poetry. So here it is.

I'm always getting so lost

I'm staring and I'm stuck in space

Something on earth pulls me and I hit my head on the way down

I've never known where I was

Nor have I known why I was

I still don't understand

And again before I can gather myself, I'm back in space

Absolutely unaware of reality

How can I stay here when it's so hard to see?

How can you ask an ant to tell you where it would like to go when all it can see is the few blades of grass in front of it?

Its answer will always be uninspiring

And so is mine

So I spend all day in space until something brings my soul crashing down in a spirit shattering fashion

I'm always crushed

So I return to space to put the pieces back together without the unbearable weight of gravity to limit my reconstruction

But I always fall again

Always shattering more

And so I shatter into so many pieces, I find myself unable to decipher the puzzle

No matter how hard I try, I've accepted that I'll never be together again

So I stay lost. So I stay broken.

And that is who I am; maybe who I'll always be

After reading this over, I realize that it is pretty depressing. It's depressing not to know what you want. It's depressing not to know where to go. Uncertainty is just stressful altogether. But sometimes space isn't a bad place to be (Metaphorically speaking). I struggle with the fact that I'm so lost but I need to be somewhere on earth. There's a place that needs me. Somewhere I need to be, and I can't keep escaping reality to avoid that. I try deciphering my feelings, but I don't even know what they are. It's perfectly fine to be clueless sometimes though. Maybe it's even better that way. Maybe the point isn't to decipher the puzzle, but to accept that the puzzle undecipherable.