There are moments in our lives where we are blessed to have a great conversation with a great friend. I have received numerous amounts of advice from plenty of people over the past few months, but this one conversation really latched onto my heart.

With topics as touchy, triggering, and sensitive as this one, it’s nice to have somebody who could dish it out to you in the most motivational, inspirational way ever.

The topic was about being a victim. However, we are not victims.

Tragic events can lead to broken hearts and a cloud of sadness stuck over you. The world is screwed up and full of these events, but it is how we deal with them that makes us who we are. I know from my own experiences with horrible events that I have come out of them stronger than before. Even if you aren’t completely over it, it’s empowering and remarkable to say that you have made it through some of it. That, alone, shows an immense amount of strength and courage.

No one ever asks for anything bad to happen to them. Things can just happen, no rhyme nor reason. The nicest, most compassionate person you have ever met could lose their life tomorrow unexpectedly. No one asks or expects it, and no one understands why. Your life could be going great until an unwanted event happens and turns your world upside down. Once again, no one asks for it; it happens. It may seem as though life is out to get you, but it’s not.

The most powerful advice I got from this conversation was this:

"Sometimes, you have to stop looking at the reasoning behind something happening and look towards what can come out of the situation. You may have had no control over what happened, but you sure as hell have control over how you deal with it. You can choose to either let the pain consume you or you can make your life beautiful.”

There’s certainly no set way to deal with the sh*t life throws at you, but its okay to feel sorrow, anger and pain. You just can’t let it consume you. There’s a point where you have to search for the strength within yourself to move forward and keep fighting harder than ever. Smooth seas don’t make good sailors.

But here’s the catch: you should never let that anger and pain go completely.

It’s normal to want to just forget about the situation and pretend it never happened, but its OK to let that pain, anger and sorrow motivate you to make not only your life better, but those around you, too. Let the pain fuel the fire in your heart.

My friend saw it like this: the connotation of a survivor means that you got through it all; you have lived through the pain. The things life throws at you aren’t always going to be things that you can be content with. It may never get easier, but you can choose to use your strength to fight until the end. This makes you a warrior.

“We keep the blades hidden in our wrist tapes and keep swinging every damn day, becoming stronger each day.”

From all of this advice, I took away one strong statement:

You aren’t a victim or a survivor; you’re a warrior.