How to Successfully Avoid Turlington Plaza Tablers
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Student Life

5 Foolproof Approaches To Make it Through Turlington Alive

Alexa, play "I Will Survive."

Carolina Watlington
Sep 05, 2018
University of Florida
32
5 Foolproof Approaches To Make it Through Turlington Alive
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If haven't been harassed in Turlington Plaza at one point or another, you're officially not a UF student. It's basically a rite of passage for freshmen. But pretty soon the overwhelming flood of flyers and shouting gets on your nerves, in case it didn't already annoy you the first time around. Avoiding the Turlington tablers is an art. Some people avoid the plaza altogether in an attempt to surpass the chaos, but it doesn't have to be this way. What if I told you, you could walk through the best intersections to get across campus, without getting mauled?

I haven't been given a flyer in a solid year, and I walk through there nearly every day. Use these 5 tricks, and you'll be able to say the same.

The Classic 'Headphones & Sunglasses' Trick

One is not complete without the other. Sunglasses but no headphones? Won't work. If they see that you can hear them, they'll still go after you. Headphones but no sunglasses? Nope, sorry. They'll find your eye-line and purposefully chase you down so you can't avoid them. The glasses and headphones are a package deal. See no evil and hear no evil.

Speed Walking outta there

AKA running for your life without it looking like a medical emergency. They can't throw flyers in your face if they can't catch up to you.

Fake Phone Call

This one is sweet, to the point, and the easiest one to pull off. This has yet to fail me. Bonus points for talking obnoxiously loud and never taking a breath.

Bring out the RBF

Nothing screams "unapproachable" like a good ole fashion resting b*tch face. But, this only works if you can actually pull it off. If you can successfully pull it off, not only will they not bother you, but they'll hope that you don't bother them.

My personal favorite, screaming no in their faces

If all else fails, this is your only option besides succumbing to what they want—you taking the flyer.

Them: "Excuse me, are you an eng-"

You: "NOPE NOPE NOPE, STOP!"

Them: "Would you like to com-"

You: "NO THANKS!"

This one can get pretty rude, pretty fast, so I'd like to think this is a last resort.

If you're feeling ballsy, try all five at once. Good luck.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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