All of a sudden, there he was, right in front of me... Through the thick stench of BO and old pizza, I could just barely get a whiff of his Ralph Lauren Polo Blue cologne. "Wow," I thought as his chiseled abs peaked through his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt that clearly accentuated his florescent salmon colored shorts. His Sperry’s snapped and slid through the undefined sticky sludge that covered the entire floor. We barely made eye contact as he refilled his best friend, "Red Solo Cup" with their partner in crime, "Warm Keg Beer."
Any girl who has ever been to a frat party has had an experience similar to this one. The key to avoiding embarrassment, dodging the regretful random hookup and possibly snatching that fratted-out hottie lies in understanding the three most important attitudes when walking into a fraternity house: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The good: Fraternity parties offer you the perfect opportunity to reach out and meet new people. There's no better way to bond with your friends than when you're constantly trying to avoid disaster. Your smile is your best attribute, so flash those pearly whites for all to see and be the friendliest girl in the room.
When it comes to girls vs. boys at a frat party, we are on two separate teams. If you ever see a comrade down possibly trying to pull off the "I'm just sleeping" look on the couch, help her out. We all have each other’s backs even if she's in the dreaded rival sorority.
Most importantly, always leave enough crumpled up one dollar bills in your purse for a safe cab ride home-- no one wants to walk. Remember, never blow off schoolwork for the so-called "one-of-a-kind Great-Fratsby party.” I promise you there will be another one the next weekend.
The bad: The worst insult you could ever give to a fraternity man is to call their house by the wrong name. If they didn't want hundreds of girls getting confused, then why did they make the names all sound so much alike!? Be sure to ask a friend which house you’re going to before you get there.
If you're a freshman, I'm sure you've just received your brand new, freedom filled dorm key. I also bet you've attached it safely to your university lanyard. Don't be the girl to walk in with their keys dangling around their neck and whacking everyone as they make their entrance. It's time to leave these at home and instead go for a small purse or a jacket pocket to store the key.
We know you've spent all summer perfecting your perfect beach body, so now’s your time to show it off in a skin tight, almost sheer, mini, strapless dress, right? WRONG. You want to feel good about yourself and definitely dress to impress, but wearing something flattering, comfortable, classy and sassy will help you avoid a fashion disaster. Dresses that suffocate you to the point of risking a normal inhalation pattern does nothing but leave you with an awkward walk and gross sweat stains.
One fraternity man can be pretty intimidating; try facing an entire pack of them in their own territory. ALWAYS bring a buddy and, better yet, go with a group! Having your girls there beside you will make your experience less awkward and more fun. Whatever you do, do not fall for every boy’s strategic approach: the divide and conquer. Stick with your girlfriends and you will have a great time!
The ugly: Fraternity parties can be overwhelming and at times pretty out of hand-- never let them get the best of you. The girl dancing on top of the table with her shoes off, ridden up dress, and plunging neckline may look like she's having fun, but give it thirty minutes. This girl who thought she was the hottest thing since travel size Nutella is now the girl making the rest of her friends take care of her. This isn't fun for anyone and definitely won't get you an invite back to a house.
Be considerate about what you say and do-- we're not in high school anymore. I'm sorry to break it to you, but girl to girl drama and caddy-ness isn’t going to work in college. Keep your opinions to yourself and resolve any problems the day after; you don't want to make a scene and be labeled as "that girl".
Remember, ladies, if you must walk the “walk of shame” suck it up and at least walk it with class. This means keeping your heels on, the barefoot hippie look doesn't really work with your smudged makeup and outfit from the night before.
Instead of walking to class with your head down, hood up and glasses on while trying to recover from an embarrassing night, follow these guidelines and frat parties can create hilarious and fun memories for you and your friends to laugh about.
