Coming to college after the familiarity of high school was shocking. I didn’t know everyone since we were six years old; our parents weren’t on the PTA together; we didn’t go to every single one of each other’s birthday parties. It was a weird feeling; one I was extremely unused to – it was a feeling of being out of place. The only thing that gave me comfort and kept me grounded throughout the first few days was that my best friend was going to college with me.
Our story was one that was quite cliché – the type you see in movies and never believe can happen in real life. We met on the first day of freshman year when I decided to sit next to her on the bus. The first few days were full of awkward conversations and uncomfortable attempts to get to know each other. Soon, sitting next to each other on the bus every day progressed to sitting together at lunch and going to each other’s houses every week. For the next few years, we were inseparable – watching movies together, doing groceries together, going to family dinners together, even sleeping at each other’s house every single week. People didn’t dare invite one of us somewhere without inviting the other. I mean, we even had our graduation party together. People always thought we were sisters because we had the same thoughts, talked the same, and laughed the same. Being nominated for Class Inseparables was just a given since everyone associated us with one another.
We went through a lot together, the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly. She was the one person who knew every single detail of my life. She came over every time I had a bad day and would always check in on me when I was sick. She was the first person to wish me on every birthday (we even brought in our birthdays on FaceTime if we couldn’t be together.) She was the shoulder I always turned to when I needed to cry, and I like to think that I was the same for her.
Coming to college together was a strange experience for us both as we always assumed that we would end up at different schools. However much we joke about hating each other, we’ve remained best friends during these first six weeks of college, and this is my advice to any others who find themselves at the same college as their best friend.
First of all, decide in the beginning if you want to room together or not. My best friend and I had an unspoken agreement that we wanted to branch out in college and meet other people instead of being stuck in our room all the time. We also wanted to keep our friendship and not let it break just because of a rash decision to room together. In reality, we end up spending all of our free time together, and I even spend half my nights on her futon. I guess, it varies friendship to friendship, and we’ll see throughout the next year how our friendship manages it.
Second, realize that you can’t spend every waking moment together like in high school. You will each have different activities, classes, study groups, and maybe even a few friends that are different. One test of friendship is if you can give each other the space that you need. I can say that my best friend and I have managed this extremely well. We still manage to see each other every day, even if it’s from 12-3 am when we’re cramming for our next day’s tests after a day full of classes and activities.
Third, make sure that you are always there for each other. College is definitely going to take an emotional toll on both of you. Make sure you have open and honest conversations about how you’re feeling. More than once, I’ve had to talk to my best friend through tears because of how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling. Be there for each other because one of the biggest positives of being so close to each other is that someone is always there to listen to you face-to-face with open arms.
Coming to the same college as my best friend has given us stories that we hope to tell forever. It’s given me a realization that our friendship can last through quite anything. Of course, sometimes we still want to both kill each other or want to slap each other because of how annoyed we are, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else without her. Ask me in a year how we’re doing, but I can say as of now, I don’t see anything changing.
