Do you ever get angry at how idiotic characters can be in scary movies? Do you find yourself screaming at the TV giving them advice, and they never listen? As a horror movie fanatic, I have compiled a series of steps that may or may not help you survive your own horror film.
1. Watch the original Scream movie.
The movie basically makes fun of horror films, and tells you how to survive!
2. Bite the goddamn bag
If someone comes at you and throws a plastic bag over your head, don't just suck in air and give up. Fight! Suck in air and bite that bag! It's like you don't even want to try and live!
3. Stay on the first floor
Face it. The basement is hard to get out of, unless you have doors, and the upper levels leave you prone for injuries.
4. If you hear a noise, do not go investigate it.
And if you do, at least bring a weapon with you.
5. Upgrade your security system.
If you do not have one, GET A SECURITY SYSTEM!
6. If you don't recognize the number calling you, don't pick it up!
If It's important, they'll leave a message! Someone attempting to kill you probably won't waste their time leaving you a voicemail.
7. Don't share every shred of your personal life on social media.
You never know who could be stalking you.
8. Don't invite strangers over, or go to their place.
*cough cough* Craigslist killer. *cough cough* Tinder.
9. If you are alone, do not let anyone know.
"You gonna regret it" - Adelaide (American Horror Story, Season one)
10. Trust your GPS, follow your GPS.
Absolutely NO shortcuts!
For Slasher films:
1. Stay in school
2. Don't go outside (especially the woods, or field, or lake, or summer camp, or stream)
3. Don't split up or let yourself be alone
4. Don't do drugs (Or alcohol for that matter, you need to be alert!)
5. Trust no one (It's always the quiet ones...)
6. For the love of chastity, do not have premarital sex. (Immoral acts lead to a quicker demise.)
To conclude, use your brain and follow the guide lines given to you! Do not be ignorant! Take a self defense class and get a taser.
